The "D" Word

I have to go on a diet.

There, I said it. It needed to be said, and now it has to be done.

Even though I just ran my first 5K race, and am ready for another, I have gained weight. Physical and emotional weight.

Side Note: I am sipping on a green smoothie as I type this entry. I'll provide the recipe and source at the end.

I gained 10 pounds. In the past month. All of this is a result of stress.

Worrying about finding a job, earning money, my son growing out of all of this clothes therefore intensifying my need for a job to earn more money to purchase more clothes and shoes for him...I have been on emotional overload.

It hasn't all been bad. I finally shot (most of) my short film, and while very exhausting, it was a great experience. I did run the aforementioned 5K race - my first one, in 37 minutes and 14 seconds. My hair grew a lot. I got new funky glasses. I'm alive. But on the flip side, I stressed myself out so badly that my cycle came TWICE this month! Hear that? I had it. It ended. A week passed. AND I GOT IT AGAIN! For someone who has fibroid, is close to 40, and have no romantic prospects at this time to start and build a relationship that would result in having a baby as opposed to getting knocked. I've been snacking at night - definitely not a good look - I'm craving physical stimulation other than running, and I am worried about NYC's Mayoral race. I slouch (I can't believe I am constantly slouching!), and I have a gut (WTF - and it's not even from alcohol - at least I would be like "ok, I get it" but now I feel like I should have drank if I was going to end up with a gut!). 10 pounds!

My mind is cluttered, and with no sense of direction. I would literally pay the scarecrow to point in several directions so I can find my way out of this. AND my 20th high school reunion is in a month and 2 weeks. If I'm not careful, my metabolism can spiral down to non-existent and I could end up gaining 20 pounds in one month. I know that is a bit of an over-exaggeration, but it's how I'm feeling these days.

So I am dieting. I am doing that thing that women do in movies when they Rocky it out, but this isn't actually about the reunion, it's about how I avoid looking in the mirror too long to avoid what I am turning into. And I make sure to keep my eyes up. I got into one of my favorite dresses last week, and I looked great, and I didn't have to suck my gut in the whole time I wore it, but I can't say the same for some of my pants. Or other dresses. Or shirts. And as a result I am going to health smoothie route to help clear my mind and my colon while I figure out my next move. God help me, and wish me luck!

Smoothie Recipe from SmoothieWeb.com:

Healthy Green Coconut Smoothie

It literally looks like this!

Ingredients:

• 2 bananas, frozen
• 2 HUGE handfuls spinach (you won’t even taste it)
• 1 cup milk (almond or soy is even better than moo juice)
• 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 tablespoon coconut oil

Add all ingredients into a blender. Blend until mixed. Serve in tall glasses and enjoy.

Recipe submitted by Sierra, Rolla, MO

7 Day Detox - Day 1

I'm taking part in a 7-Day Detox and 3 week Low Carb diet with HangTight with MarcC as part of my aforementioned Quest for Abs (and peace of mind too). I'm actually excited and look forward to seeing some major changes in my body. In addition to embarking in this Quest for Abs, I also have to get rid of any extra fat on my body to help with my back problems. If I drop 10-15 pounds, honestly, I am giddy at the relief that I expect to feel in my lower and middle back.

Anyway, here is what I have done so far today in my Quest for Abs:

• Walking: 4 miles
• Breakfast: Oatmeal
• Snacks: Strawberry yogurt, 2 granola bars w/peanut butter, brown rice cakes, popcorn
• Lunch: Homemade Vegetarian Lentil soup
• Drink: Cranberry water (made from cranberry concentrate)

Although I have listed Chinese Stir Fry with Brown Rice as my dinner, I think I may go with a spinach shake since I had lunch so late.

Also, you'll notice I have a lot of snacks there and it's because I realize I'm a grazer/ muncher. One of the biggest things I was concerned about upon embarking on this journey, is how was I going to replace my comfort food. I love popcorn (especially since I've sworn off the chocolate cake from my son's birthday, and peanut butter ice cream  - and anyone who knows me knows I LOVE peanut butter, plus ice cream, maaaannnnn...). Anyway, I spent the past few days prepping for the detox by increasing my cranberry water intake, ceasing with the red wine (even though there is a glass amount left in the fridge), drinking green tea, but I knew at some point I was going to need a variety of snacks (I guess it's the Gemini in me). I figured popcorn was the way to go, but I had to find the right topping because I know I can't do popcorn with no topping. And after much research and searching for a healthy option that my taste buds would love - coconut oil walked into the building.

I went to GNC and overpaid for 16 oz of coconut oil (this before finding out that my local fruit stand sells 12 oz for $4 after paying 3 times that for 16 oz. Not again!)

Back to the story... I coated the popcorn kernels with a tbsp of coconut oil, popped in the microwave, and then I did something that is going to sound weird but tastes so good. I melted 1 tbsp of coconut oil and 1 tbsp of honey, drizzled it over the popcorn, and then sprinkled the popcorn with cinnamon.

I personally can't taste the cinnamon, but my son did, and he loved it! And so did I. I love the honey flavor on my popcorn - who knew! I am beyond ecstatic that I found a healthy popcorn topping alternative- and that was real hard when I had powdered cheddar staring me in the face as I drizzled the coconut oil/ honey mixture on my popcorn. I was nervous, thought it might taste like crap. I gambled and won!

Stay tuned for other experimental recipes that I will be trying this month.

The Quest: Part 1 - Abs

I have to be dramatic.

I'm on a quest for defined abs.

P.S. It was very difficult finding the perfect representation

for what I'm going for. I want abs, but I want to maintain my curves.

This woman's body shape here is closest to mine, except she is toned

and I sadly, am not (for now).

It's nearing the end of February. I turn 38 near the end of May. I've stayed within 10 pounds my weight and form since high school, but some things have shifted... like my abdomen.

I've always been an active person. I played as a kid - let me clarify since today's kids consider sitting around playing videos games as playing. I really played as a kid: double dutch, hand ball, tag, bike riding, climbing (shit I wasn't supposed to be climbing, if my mother only knew!). There was also running, volleyball, aerobics... and then I discovered dance (jazz, tap, ballet, African, Salsa). And then I got a gym membership, and trained with a kickboxing black belt. I have been a busy woman - no wonder I'm always tired.

Well, this 37.85 year old body is acting the fool. Things are trying to hang out, go South - I don't even like the South, I'm a Northern Yankee thank-you-very-much! I've always had a nice shape, but there must be something about this age that I'm at where I am determined to get that 4-pack (not trying to be greedy) that has always alluded me, even when my belly was flat.

So, I did something that I never do. I took photos of my body in my workout gear. It was not flattering. I was possibly (maybe not) going to post them in this entry... I think not. I'm going to save them for my big reveal, BUT I am printing them out and posting them in my work area (which is where I almost always am), as motivation to not just keep active - which is no problem for me - but to meet this physical goal.

Off tangent for a moment: I stopped running over a month ago after my back went out and I couldn't walk for days. Those were some dark days, but I'm walking now. I haven't made it back to the track, and with my new work / school schedule, I'm going to have to do like I did when I first started running - do it on the weekend (Saturday and Sunday, 3 miles each day). One of the great things about my new schedule, though, is that I work 2 and from my daytime activity - 2 miles one way, so I'm getting in 4 miles of walking 4 days a week.

In the meantime, I've taken up boxing again, as well as military interval training, and while that may make me strong, the goal is to tone, so I am taking part in the HangTight with MarC Feel Tight Diet Challenge for the month of March. It's involves a 7 day detox, and diet plan for the month of March. With the crazy schedule that I now have for myself with my various endeavors, I've decided to approach this as I would work - I've created a calendar that will tell me what I am to eat each day (if I don't do this, I fear with all the running around that I won't be successful - and I really think the key to getting that 4-pack is the food that I eat, which brings me to the one thing that I am going to miss the most... and no, it is not the peanut butter ice cream in the freezer.

I actually want to cry. I have one last glass of wine left in the bottle, and then no more. I used to just reserve the wine for the weekends, but it's replaced the mild affection I was receiving after a hard day's work - still can't replace a hug or a kiss, but I did what I had to do. Anyway, tonight I will enjoy my last glass of wine for the month. And then I'll go back to once a week (Saturdays), or investigate alternatives that I will share on this blog.

I'm also giving up the salt (chips, cashews). I already rarely eat red meat, so as an extra push, I'm going to become reacquainted with the egg plant and pursue vegetarian recipes, which I am very excited about since I love to cook.

I'm going to be learning about vegetables beyond my limited scope, and increase my smoothie intake.

When I have gotten to the point where I have comfortably transitioned into an even more healthy lifestyle, not only will I share the photos that I took today, I will take new ones of me in a bikini (and I haven't been in a bikini since I was 4).

I just want to get rid of fat that I don't need, and I think a 15 pound decrease from my 153 lb frame would be beneficial for my physical goals, including taking significant pressure off my back. I could go on and on, but let me just list some initial goals so I can get this started.

• Get into a bikini (and look good in it) by May 23 - my birthday
• Lose 10 lbs by May 23
• Lose a total of 15 lbs, by July 4
• 4-pack abs by May 23 (doesn't have to be chiseled, but if I flex, I want to see some indentation
• Eat a 75% vegetarian diet - which would become the norm - by May 23
• Be able to run 5 miles in 30 minutes by May 23
• Be able to do a yoga head stand by May 23

 That's it for the first part of this lifestyle journey. I'm working on so many wonderful things in my life - my emotions, business, and more, and I feel like it is time to get everything in sync so that I can be successful across the board. It's going to be hard especially because I already don't eat a lot of things that I already don't eat, BUT there is always room to do better.

Diet Status

... I just had to write a little something in the middle of the day to express what I'm feeling right about now.  I am STARVING!

This is the second day of my 2-week (or more) Breakfast shake, lunch, dinner shake routine, and I swear if Wilbur from Charlotte's web walked in my path right now I would grab some barbecue sauce and make it happen!

I had my shake this morning, and snacked on carrots and a banana (I'm kind mad at bananas right now, lol).  Had some lemon tea, and water, and the stomach pains had been hitting like labor pains for over an hour!  But alas, I have in front of me my chicken gyro (chicken on pita with lettuce and cucumber sauce) and I am going to relish this MF like it's the last supper!  I also got some chips (I know, I already admitted it as my weakness, but at least they're tomato and basil) and some popcorn (just in case shyt happens), so I'm thinking I can make it without snapping a pencil or someone's head!.  BUT I am determined to try this out and see what happens.  Pray for me.  And them pray some more!

Edited to say: I ate my chicken gyro... and I feel like I'm dying!  The gut is making noises like a dog that was starving and still mad even though I finally fed it.  I need to lay down on the dirty office floor now!  I need Day 3 to be better.  For the love of all that is holy!  How is the universe gonna punish a sister for going full throttle on the road to better heath?  Damn!

P.S. I don't even want the chips or the damn popcorn anymore! Ouch!

New Year's Cleanse

In my previous post I kind of went ballistic about gaining 10 lbs in less than 2 weeks, but as I was  "expressing" how I was feeling, I recognized a couple of the reasons why this 10-pound abundance happened.  First, I have to say that I have always been a slim woman with curves, so I have no problem admitting that I freaked out when I stepped on the scale a couple of hours ago because I have never been this weight when I was not pregnant (and I've only been pregnant once!).  So, here's a list of things that I need to undo:

• Not working out - I didn't work out for 2 weeks (although I did do a 20 minute Zumba workout 2 times in that time, but I was not consistent, so I consider it the equivalent of not doing anything during that time
• Flu - for the past few weeks I'd been fighting something.  I'd been sluggish, sleepy, thirsty, but not really hungry... just feeling all types of ickiness, but it did not hit me until the day before Christmas (and when I say it hit me, I mean, I had no voice and when it did come back I sounded like a dude)
• Bread - damn you white flour!  One would think the gallons of peppermint tea I ingested over the past week would have helped!  Whenever I would eat, I ate cheesy biscuits.  Was I hungry? No.  But why did I eat them? Because I didn't want to go days without eating.  What will I do next time?  Not eat and lose weight like I usually do when I get sick! (hey, I'm not an expert so I hope no one was expecting me to be Dr. Oz here!)

Interestingly, I didn't drink any wine (but that has more to do with the fact that I was so freaking miserable, being unable to breath properly because of the flu and my asthma, the fever, and just sheer exhaustion).

So, what's the initial game plan you may or may not ask?  Well, the night before day 1, prep night, starts with a cleansing (laxative) tea, so I can sort of start anew. Day 1 - 2: I will concentrate on getting the machine working properly by cleansing with the lemon juice drink that includes cayenne pepper and maple syrup.  I used to drink this every morning as a diuretic, but I fell off, I admit it.  My meals will consist of soups, health shakes (Lean Shake from GNC mixed with water, fiber, and including strawberries and/or bananas), and more of the lemon cleanse drink. And last but not least, ice water.  According to Dr. Oz, ice water makes the body burn more calories because it has to warm the water, so I'll see if that's true.  The main objective in these beginning stages, is for me not to feel so sluggish, especially since I'm over the worst part of the flu.  After seeing how I feel after these next two days, I will report back and determine, bu then, how I would like to proceed.

I need to throw away my scale (after I lose 20lbs!)

I've never been one who was a scale watcher.  I've stayed in my lane, only flip flopping at + or - 5lbs for over 20 years.  During my pregnancy 10 years ago, I gained 30lbs and immediately dropped 20 of them right after I popped that bad boy out, while the last 10lb took about 9 months to drop.  I had to preface this post with that brief intro because I just stepped on the scale, after not doing that for at least a month, and if there was a point that read HELL NO, that's what the pointer would be directed. I normally don't shy away from just putting it all out there, but I won't even share what the scale read.

The past week I have noticed that the boobs have gotten a little bit fuller  I know my frame has started to look a bit fuller as well - especially in the core vicinity - but I thought it was a part of the monthly routine of bloating for one week.  Well, that week came and went and dammit if I'm not looking around wondering what the hell (I really want to say 'fuck') is going on.

Interestingly, before I got on the scale and got slapped in the face with the results, I'd decided that it was time for me to do a cleanse because I hadn't since the summer.  I'm just getting over being ridiculously sick (lightbulb moment: I ate a lot of bread during those 5 days I've been sick - dammit! Biscuits and tea, for days.  SHIT!!!!) That, not working out for 2 weeks, and the Chinese food the past 2 days has not helped.  OK. So I know what I have to do.  Will device a plan and post.

(BIG SIGH) Great! (insert sarcasm)