Follow up: O-M-F-Weight!!!!

So, it's been a little over a month since my online nervous breakdown, but I'm back from the land of hysteria.

I was not playing around when I said I would turn things around, and with that I got my butt in gear to make new and good things happen.

I continued with my weekend jogging, now up to a steady 3 miles per excursion (with the exception of last weekend when I was sick and only did 2 miles on Sunday). If I have a day off, I'm at the track. If it's raining, I'm on the track.  Now, don't get it twisted, - I have not turned into one of those people obsessed with running per say, I've become obsessed with ME TIME.  The running is great physically for me - I have shrunk overall in ways that I have NEVER done before (at least healthily - there was a stressed induced summer that had me losing 30 lbs over the summer - NOT a good look at all).  But back to the ME TIME.  I'm a single mother. Have been since the moment I knew I was going to become a mother. Over the years, I've never gotten into any relationships that offered any kind of relief or support to that of my parenting responsibilities.  The support that I moved back near family for, well, whatever, and I had my baby when I was in my mid 20s, the time when my peers were still out partying, so it's been mostly me. So for me to be able to tell my almost-11 year old "I'm going to the track, I'll be back in an hour" and do that, all by myself, and not have to worry about his snack bag and making sure he has things to occupy himself with and making sure he'll have a good time so that I'll have a good time, and on and on - I just never realized how much freedom taking on a hobby, just for myself, would afford me.  And I love my son like crazy, but in doing that, I always forget about me.  And going to the track, to jog, is all about me!

Jogging has allowed me to quiet my mind in ways that I have not been able to do in years.  Just after the first quarter mile lap, I'm in or approaching a zone.  There have been a few times when I have been distracted, but I eventually have gotten there.  In the beginning, I listened to the book The Secret, and I have to say, I think that was a MAJOR motivating factor in me really getting into the emotional relaxation part of what jogging has done for me.  Listening to that book also helped me to adjust the ways in which I talk to myself, motivating myself to get through something or another.  Instead of thinking I have to do 12 laps, I have to do 12 laps, every lap is lucky number (fill in the blank).  Every lap is great. Every lap is an achievement.  Every lap makes me proud to take on.  The book and jogging also allowed me to THINK about the goings on in my life versus STRESS about them.  I really don't know how else to explain the mental transformation that has taken place - and that doesn't mean I don't have rough moments, but I get through them better than before.

I've also made adjustments to my food intake.  I'd already started counting calories with My Fitness Pal for a while now, but still, I wasn't seeing the kinds of results I thought I should by just counting all of my calories, so I made some small adjustments that have rendered big results.  My snack during the day is a green smoothie that I make every morning at home.  So instead of chomping on low calorie crackers, of peanut butter on pita bread, or whatever snacks I thought were pretty healthy, I sip on a green smoothie throughout the day.  I also started making my own salads, incorporating poultry or fish and light oil-based dressing (only 2 tablespoons of it too!).  My salads are very filling and never boring, and if I eat something else with the meal I make sure the salad is bigger than the "hot meal".

In addition, during the week, when I can't get to the track, I do a series of strength training moves, and have recently incorporated calesthetics like burpees into the mix to really "work it out." 

And guess what!  I have since loss 12 pounds, my belly has shrunken, my pants are baggy, and I sure don't look 5 months pregnant!  In addition, my mind feels good. I am not exhausted all the damn time (though it was a rough week at the office and I will be lounging this weekend).  Aside from those physical and mental achievements, most importantly, this whole process is showing me that I can induce change. I can turn things around, because for a long time I've been feeling like I'm not living life, it's just happening and I'm a passenger.  Right now, I definitely feel like a driver, and even though there may be traffic and I may have to take a detour or two to get to my destination, I'm operating that wheel, and that feels damn good!

O-M-F-Weight!!!!

My body has changed drastically in the past year and a half.  I have gained 15 lbs.  Oh-my-freaking-gosh!

Couple that with the my recent digestive problems and we have ourselves a metabolism meltdown that has left me with a (gasp) belly!  Sorry, this is very difficult for me to comprehend - I truly believe that I am in some serious denial, or at least I was until recent shopping excursions left me purchasing clothes anywhere from 1 - 2 sizes larger than what I consider normal for me.  But the belly thing - me looking like I did when I was 5 months pregnant, and I ain’t pregnant (note: I didn’t start showing until I was 5 months pregnant, so I wasn’t huge, it’s just that it was physically clear that if you looked at me, you could see that I was maybe pregnant).  Anyway, I am not pregnant, and as a result, I do not want to look pregnant.  Also, I see the weight gain in my face - oh my gosh!!!! Oh my freaking gosh! Shyt!

And the screwed up thing about this is that I started running, and I love it, and my legs do too, but my belly doesn’t, so what’s up with that?  I’m not eating ice-cream everyday.  I drink occasionally, but not even every week.  I drink a shit load of water daily.  I’m not snacking on chips everyday, so seriously WTF?

Ok, I kinda know what could possibly have contributed to this 15 pound weight gain in under 2 years.

I don’t eat enough. I (most of the time) track my food intake with MyFitnessPal, and the thing gave me a 1200 daily calorie goal, and, well, I don’t always meet it (and the 1200 calorie goal is my suggested minimum!)
 
I don’t work out every day.  I used to. 20 minuted of some cardio / strength training workout after I dropped me kid off at school.  Now I do it sporadically.  I just got so frustrated with not seeing any major results physically that I did get turned off, but I would work my ass off every weekend.  And doesn’t running around all day count?  Apparently not!
 
I don’t take my meds / supplements every day. I need about 10 pills to supplement my weak blood and other chronic issues, and even though it takes 30 seconds to a minute to swallow all those damn pills, sometimes I just say F-it!  Lately, I’m lucky if I take my daily prescribed meds (my apologies to my Grandma - RIP - for me criticizing her for not taking her meds on time and every day.  I get it now).
 
I still don’t sleep enough. This started way back when, when I was a junior in high school.  I went to boarding school and once you became a junior you didn’t have “lights out.”  And then when I moved on to the senior dorms, which had the computer labs in them, and were open all night, well, since I was on scholarship and didn’t have my own computer in my room, well, you see where this is going.  And then when I got to college, I attended full-time while working a full-time job, at the same time, at which point I was getting home at 12:45pm Monday thru Friday (well, I had my weekends off).  So the bad habit that started off as a small snowball, just turned into a gigantic boulder, of ice!  And I have maintained that sleep lifestyle (or lack of), for almost 20 years (I pray, and actually believe that I can in fact turn around the damage that I have done to my body).   It’s only recently - as recent as a few months, that I get an average of 5-6 hours sleep daily.  New goal: definitely a minimum of 6 hours sleep, but the goal is for 7 full hours sleep. (I’ve done good with the 6 hours, but I know it’s still not enough, though I feel better than I have in ages).

And did I mention that I’m going to be 37 in 6 months?  So you see, I need to shit or get off the pot when it comes to getting my shit straight (literally) regarding my entire well being.  And so it begins.

I believe that I have the capacity to be in better health and shape than I have my entire life.  I plan to.  Actually, I’m working on it right now.  This weekend I’m cleansing - just taking it easy with the food intake.  It was supposed to be a complete liquid weekend, but I caved and had a Caesar salad (with croutons!) and the shyt was awesome, no regrets, lol!  But I’ve digressed.  The point is sure, while I was driving to a friend’s place today, instead of putting on music in the car, I half-chanted/ sang “I’m hungry”, BUT I did some mind of matter Jedi mind trick on myself and said that I will stick to the plan of cleansing and getting my nutrients via green smoothies (which I have yet to make), fruits, vegetables, and other lite fan fare (like the incredible Banana Probiotic Yogurt that I had for breakfast).  I haven’t perfected my plan yet, and have reached out to sources for support - including a friend who guides people on a homeopathic/ natural way of living (I figure, just getting her involved in my journey holds me even more accountable because even she will be expecting results).  I’m looking into the kinds of changes that I know my body is going through, investigating what I perceive to be my overacting cortisol levels, and fine tuning my workout plan (I did 3 miles on the track today - running 1.5 miles straight and then alternating between speed walking and jogging an additional half mile - I have to jog instead of sprint as a result of my chronic asthma).

By the way, in the middle of typing this I made a green smoothie (spinach, banana, strawberry, carrots, banana yogurt & blueberries) and it looks like diarrhea in a cup, but I’m drinking it!  (I does not have an attractive smell either, but oh well... bottoms up!

Protein Treatment for Winter Hair

So people, I thought I would switch things up for a second and see if it would help if I added a mayonnaise based pre-shampoo protein treatment to my hair regimen.  Here is my proposed recipe:

1 egg
2-3 tbsp mayonnaise
1-2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

I will dampen my hair, apply the mixture and let it set for 30 minutes (a perfect excuse to relax in a nice steamy spa bath).  Afterwards I will wash my hair with Shea Moisture's Hibiscus and Coconut Shampoo, and deep condition with Alter Ego for 30 minutes under a hooded bonnet dryer, rinse with clear water, use a homemade herbal rinse (rosemary and lavender), detangle, set on magnetic rollers, and sit under the bonnet dryer.

Side note: I've done the roller set for the past 2 weeks and while it dries and stretches my hair nicely, I've noticed a lot of fairy knot in the front of my hair especially - what's up with that?  I'm hoping some extra conditioning will help... I don't know, well see.

While I like my other pre-shampoo treatments, I figure my hair could use all the moisture it can get.  This recipe doesn't require a lot of ingredients - all of which I already have - and hopefully it won't hurt.  Stay tuned...

... 1 hour later...
that protein treatment did not got as well as I would have hoped.  As a matter of fact, once I shampoo'd and applied my deep conditioner treatment I had LOTS of shedding.  Now I won't completely blame that on the protein treatment, but my hair was feeling quite papyrus-esque!  Here's to hoping the rest of my routine salvages what's gone down already!

To Be Continued!...

Alrighty, so clearly, not all things are for all people and that's all right.  I'm not one of these bloggers who wants to preach what everyone should be doing with their hair.  Heck, if you want to put pigeon shit in your hair to make it grow, go for it! With that being said, I steered a bit from what I'd planned to do - in an effort to not be sitting under a bonnet dryer for two hours) and detangled, sealed with my oil mixture (castor oil, avocado oil, extra virgin olive oil, tea tree, rosemary, and peppermint), and then used a heat protector (IC's Hair Straightening Serum) before using a round bristle brush and my hair dryer on light heat. Now, I've had that pretty costly brush for years, and tried to use it in the past (to not so pretty results), but the stars were aligned for me tonight because it worked out.  You see, in the past couple weeks I've been doing the aforementioned roller set, but I noticed the fairy knots appearing out of no where, which  began to attribute to my roller set (it's the only major change I've made in the past month that I can sort of blame for the knots) so I figured I would try to bristle brush to help stretch the hair at my ends as well.  So it took about an hour, I did it, and I still had my big hair!

Here's a quick look at my hair growth progress from last year and a new photo from today :)

When Products Attack

It is with a heavy heart, and completing the 6 stages of grief, that I report that one of my favorite products has turned on me!  It was so good while it lasted. It didn't cost a lot, but wasn't like a cheap one night stand (more like a May-December romance), it made me believe in the good of humanity and that you could indeed find it where least expected.  It was so good on the inside as well as the outside. It was my ace-boon-coon, my partna who turned on me at the least minute like Gerry Butler did to Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life.  I am speaking of it, whose name I don't even want to say , but must: Suave Naturals Tropical Coconut Conditioner!

(Sigh)

So here's what had happened. I was loving my Suave Coconut conditioner like a half gallon of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream after a long. hard day. And I was sharing this relationship with everyone - including right here in this very blog. My sis tried it and her response was not favorable, to which I thought, "she must be crazy" or "she must not be using it right."  And then it happened! Lord, honey chile! I washed and conditioned my hair with my Suave Naturals Tropical Coconut Shampoo and Conditioner - and my hair felt like PAPER!  And not that expensive paper from Papyrus either.  As a matter of fact my hair didn't even feel like paper from the 99 Cent store - it felt like old-17th Century-hidden in a trunk- deep in the pits of an old slave plantation that had been flooded and burnt, to be pulled from its dark hole-and brought in to the light only to immediately wither and almost die -PAPER.  Broke my freaking heart!

BUT, I was in denial, for months.  I thought I'd moved on at first, thinking "oh, my hair just needs a break - like Ross and Rachel on Friends.  We'll get back together, after almost marrying other people, and live happily every after.  Well I thought my chance and a renewed partnership had come the other day.  I needed to do a quick co-wash to hold me over for just 2 days (I used a hair dryer with a comb attachment on my hair - something I haven't done for almost 3 months - and the damage was immediate, so I needed to fix it stat, and I THOUGHT my Suave Naturals Coconut Conditioner was Old Faithful just waiting to come out of the closet and pitch hit with bases loaded, 2 out, and in extra innings in the seventh game of the World Series.  And what did Old Faithful aka Mariano Rivera in the Spring of 2010, do?  Something I never would have expected?  IT BLEW THE SAVE!

(Sigh)

So, I must give it a fond farewell via toilet (since my once faithful partner in crime actually doesn't work for anyone that I know).  Such a shame.  What a waste.  Is there nothing sacred people?  Can't a girl (ok, grown ass woman) have one thing that will always have my back? Dayuuuummmm. But it's ok.  In my brain stem I think I knew.  I didn't want to know, but I did. Dayum!

P.s.: (dis)Honorable mention to Queen Helene's Cholesterol Hair Conditioning Cream.  What in the hippity-hip-hop is going on?