Saturday, November 26, 2011

Protein Treatment for Winter Hair

So people, I thought I would switch things up for a second and see if it would help if I added a mayonnaise based pre-shampoo protein treatment to my hair regimen.  Here is my proposed recipe:

1 egg
2-3 tbsp mayonnaise
1-2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

I will dampen my hair, apply the mixture and let it set for 30 minutes (a perfect excuse to relax in a nice steamy spa bath).  Afterwards I will wash my hair with Shea Moisture's Hibiscus and Coconut Shampoo, and deep condition with Alter Ego for 30 minutes under a hooded bonnet dryer, rinse with clear water, use a homemade herbal rinse (rosemary and lavender), detangle, set on magnetic rollers, and sit under the bonnet dryer.

Side note: I've done the roller set for the past 2 weeks and while it dries and stretches my hair nicely, I've noticed a lot of fairy knot in the front of my hair especially - what's up with that?  I'm hoping some extra conditioning will help... I don't know, well see.

While I like my other pre-shampoo treatments, I figure my hair could use all the moisture it can get.  This recipe doesn't require a lot of ingredients - all of which I already have - and hopefully it won't hurt.  Stay tuned...

... 1 hour later...
that protein treatment did not got as well as I would have hoped.  As a matter of fact, once I shampoo'd and applied my deep conditioner treatment I had LOTS of shedding.  Now I won't completely blame that on the protein treatment, but my hair was feeling quite papyrus-esque!  Here's to hoping the rest of my routine salvages what's gone down already!

To Be Continued!...

Alrighty, so clearly, not all things are for all people and that's all right.  I'm not one of these bloggers who wants to preach what everyone should be doing with their hair.  Heck, if you want to put pigeon shit in your hair to make it grow, go for it! With that being said, I steered a bit from what I'd planned to do - in an effort to not be sitting under a bonnet dryer for two hours) and detangled, sealed with my oil mixture (castor oil, avocado oil, extra virgin olive oil, tea tree, rosemary, and peppermint), and then used a heat protector (IC's Hair Straightening Serum) before using a round bristle brush and my hair dryer on light heat. Now, I've had that pretty costly brush for years, and tried to use it in the past (to not so pretty results), but the stars were aligned for me tonight because it worked out.  You see, in the past couple weeks I've been doing the aforementioned roller set, but I noticed the fairy knots appearing out of no where, which  began to attribute to my roller set (it's the only major change I've made in the past month that I can sort of blame for the knots) so I figured I would try to bristle brush to help stretch the hair at my ends as well.  So it took about an hour, I did it, and I still had my big hair!

Here's a quick look at my hair growth progress from last year and a new photo from today :)

Saturday, November 12, 2011

When Products Attack

It is with a heavy heart, and completing the 6 stages of grief, that I report that one of my favorite products has turned on me!  It was so good while it lasted. It didn't cost a lot, but wasn't like a cheap one night stand (more like a summer romance), it made me believe in the good of humanity and that you could indeed find it where least expected.  It was so good on the inside as well as the outside. It was my ace-boon-coon, my partna who turned on me at the last minute like Gerry Butler did to Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life.  I am speaking of it, whose name I don't even want to say , but must: Suave Naturals Tropical Coconut Conditioner!

So here's what had happened. I was loving my Suave Coconut conditioner like a half gallon of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream after a long. hard day. And I was sharing this relationship with everyone - including right here in this very blog. My sis tried it and her response was not favorable, to which I thought, "she must be crazy" or "she must not be using it right."  And then it happened! Lord, honey chile! I washed and conditioned my hair with my Suave Naturals Tropical Coconut Shampoo and Conditioner - and my hair felt like PAPER!  And not that expensive paper from Papyrus either.  As a matter of fact my hair didn't even feel like paper from the 99 Cent store - it felt like old-17th Century-hidden in a trunk- deep in the pits of an old slave plantation that had been flooded and burnt, to be pulled from its dark hole-and brought in to the light only to immediately wither and almost die -PAPER.  Broke my freaking heart!

BUT, I was in denial, for months.  I thought I'd moved on at first, thinking "oh, my hair just needs a break - like Ross and Rachel on Friends.  We'll get back together, after almost marrying other people, and live happily every after.  Well I thought my chance at a renewed partnership had come the other day.  I needed to do a quick co-wash to hold me over for just 2 days (I used a hair dryer with a comb attachment on my hair - something I haven't done for almost 3 months - and the damage was immediate, so I needed to fix it stat, and I THOUGHT my Suave Naturals Coconut Conditioner was Old Faithful just waiting to come out of the closet and pitch hit with bases loaded, 2 out, and in extra innings in the seventh game of the World Series.  And what did Old Faithful aka Mariano Rivera in the Spring of 2010, do?  Something I never would have expected?  IT BLEW THE SAVE!


So, I must give it a fond farewell via toilet (since my once faithful partner in crime actually doesn't work for anyone that I know).  Such a shame.  What a waste.  Is there nothing sacred people?  Can't a girl (ok, grown ass woman) have one thing that will always have my back? Dayuuuummmm. But it's ok.  In my brain stem I think I knew.  I didn't want to know, but I did. Dayum!

P.s.: (dis)Honorable mention to Queen Helene's Cholesterol Hair Conditioning Cream.  What in the hippity-hip-hop is going on?

Sunday, November 6, 2011

(Sigh) Dating...

...or should I say "not" dating. Ugh. It's just such a chore for me because I know I'm "different" and I have my issues, as noted in my aforementioned blog entries, but damn! Really? No amount of hypnotism and self reflection will make me understand why it's so damn hard for me.

The nastiest people, funkiest ho's (hey, ho's need love too), nastiest, ungrateful, unsympathetic people out there have someone, or at least have options, and my corny ass tries to flip things by turning "no one will date me" into, "well, I'm taking a dating hiatus" just to make myself feel better, lol!

It's funny, but it's sad at the same time. While I have acquired more confidence than I had even 10 years ago, I'm still not there, and I hate to admit (but I will) that the opinions of others do, in some way, feed into my timid approach to this dating thing.

Thing is, I look at things too practically. I'm so concerned (overwhelmed) with how I'm going to pay for my 10 year old's college years that I've all but abandoned the idea of the possibility of having more children. It's not a stupid thing, but it is a fear that is damn near crippling because I know I wont be finish paying my student loans until I'm a Grandma, and I don't want that for my boy. Then there's also the fact that I am now in the late 30s category, and let's say I meet Mr. "he doesn't get on my nerves all the time" and allow myself to get impregnated (on purpose this time) - that's not something that I'm going to rush into! And if I do take my time, I'll be a woman in her 50s with a young child. WTF? The people in my family never look their age - despite how I feel, I know I don't look my age, and my sis who is 2 years behind me practically looks like a fetus, but regardless of how I look, if I make it to my 50s, I will have the body of someone in their damn 50s, and I don't want to go to no play dates at my current "parent-age" - what I look like, being the age of someone's Grandma, with my 5 year old, trying to relate to the young moms and their spa dates? lololol!

So, I have a couple of options:
  • Date an older man (with kids of his own who are probably older than my youngest sibling - my youngest sibling is 15 by the way)
  • Become a young cougar
  • Try harder with the online dating thing (this is some exhausting shit! No one likes me- except for the fake West African scammers all names David - and they haven't even heard my voice yet, lol!)
  • Wear more revealing clothes (back to the older man thing, because the men my age don't even see me)
  • Get a nose job and liposuction, a weave, bleach my skin, trade in my Honda Civic for a Lexus, and shop at Macys and above only (no more $10 store) and trick some dude into liking something that isn't even a representation of who or what I am -- too much freaking work

I have to laugh. I have to, because I'm too old for this kind of thing to be keeping me up at night, and we all know I'm getting older so I need my sleep!

I would just love for someone to tell me that being myself - my practical, frugal, crazy, funny, serious, tough, loving, hardworking self - is actually enough, because it's either that, or make it clap on the pole so that I can pay these student loans off, make sure my son doesn't acquire student loans himself, and have someone tell me he loves me - despite his drunken stupor.

And so that ends my being a smart ass today :)