tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33425234908746353892024-02-19T05:44:33.988-05:00Luv My TextureNot just about the hair on my head!ShakLandhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15030204186683266666noreply@blogger.comBlogger111125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-9679375925578404202013-12-24T11:35:00.003-05:002013-12-24T11:37:17.630-05:00Recipe: Shea Butter Hair OilThe winter chill has not been friendly to my coily hair, which made me realize that it is way past time to change my styling methods for the season (for me that means I have to style in the first place). So I have recently dusted off the rollers, pulled out the hooded dryer and heat cap, I'm even eyeballing a couple of combs (I shiver at that) and plan to moisturize every day (I know, I know, I'm horrible), take all my supplements and eat right, and exercise every day.<br />
<br />
With that, I threw together this batch of Shea Butter Hair oil that is literally for my hair and not my scalp. I have something else for that.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR86Mk00nmpnPmVMVNUS1hNwSSJ-760Ltt3Aip3yz8b1PN4ZfkuliF_rAKmUbpDoevRz2PFAQCNk6KvRMWLE0brOW09bbhLEkaDiKmKDZy95FaNwFQROvUtJ0UdEMAh2ToyL7dptViV4yp/s1600/CAM00030-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR86Mk00nmpnPmVMVNUS1hNwSSJ-760Ltt3Aip3yz8b1PN4ZfkuliF_rAKmUbpDoevRz2PFAQCNk6KvRMWLE0brOW09bbhLEkaDiKmKDZy95FaNwFQROvUtJ0UdEMAh2ToyL7dptViV4yp/s320/CAM00030-1.jpg" width="145" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I literally threw together this recipe, keeping in mind some of the things I feel my hair needs right now since I'd abandoned using heavy ingredients like Shea butter on my hair during the summer. I'd also minimized my usage of castor oil, except for my edges and sometimes my ends, as well because it was just too much in that hot and humid weather. But now my hair (and skin) is screaming for some Shea butter and I am ready to oblige because coconut oil is not doing it alone anymore. I gathered the following ingredients (I eyeballed the measurements):<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Shea Butter (2 parts)</li>
<li>EV Coconut oil (1-2 parts)</li>
<li>Avocado Oil (1/2 part)</li>
<li>Grapeseed oil (1/2 part)</li>
<li>EV Olive Oil (1/2 part)</li>
<li>Black Castor Oil (2 tbsp)</li>
<li>Rosehip Seed Oil (10 drops)</li>
<li>Rosemary Essential Oil (20 drops)</li>
<li>Geranium Essential Oil (7 drops)</li>
</ul>
<br />
I'm going to be taking a more active role in my physical maintenance and will chronicle it as I set out to evolve and pull myself out of this rut that I find myself entrenched in. All this equates to is schedule more me time. Let's see how that goes!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-2465476637303171572013-12-23T19:36:00.002-05:002013-12-23T19:40:45.938-05:00Hair Length CheckI was looking through my blog, trying to decide what I need to update when I saw the last hair length check that I did back in April. Since I don't blow my hair out but a few times a year, I checked my phone and see that I did a light blow out on September 4, so here is a quick recap of my hair journey thus far:<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2ul2UEyJkQxJdBqDzgqjEsTdZROoLWf0q8gsTMOb_GinauhcEbWL_EaXEmef5A9YLZAnasYZPHCmccG_ZUJahwafCZ3nLzH7KthKYikkGFM8-OllceWoHVMIS4RoAqS1dwLPJVk1ZqavP/s1600/Hair+journey+from+May+2010-Jan+2011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2ul2UEyJkQxJdBqDzgqjEsTdZROoLWf0q8gsTMOb_GinauhcEbWL_EaXEmef5A9YLZAnasYZPHCmccG_ZUJahwafCZ3nLzH7KthKYikkGFM8-OllceWoHVMIS4RoAqS1dwLPJVk1ZqavP/s400/Hair+journey+from+May+2010-Jan+2011.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcOimKi19dagkrTmtsplEqWG6mQROVtgjk7MHVTxpNDePixIVBCg1vQzfpnNrb-hT9GRBNIEAB-05cKBhyphenhyphenjzMgJdn8S1AF6l1l3kn_hLNWPOo9wUIdgVaZ9qwOR0N7_hf8h6pghNmNruxM/s1600/profile_sept2012-001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcOimKi19dagkrTmtsplEqWG6mQROVtgjk7MHVTxpNDePixIVBCg1vQzfpnNrb-hT9GRBNIEAB-05cKBhyphenhyphenjzMgJdn8S1AF6l1l3kn_hLNWPOo9wUIdgVaZ9qwOR0N7_hf8h6pghNmNruxM/s320/profile_sept2012-001.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">September 2012 (press with flat iron)</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBXKUTDIXy5Qa9v8v6BlYXmXrcRgeeGWXOYduqPJINe3PxXW54MByeZnNjHTaqsQUkUAwASGx09e96qzaM9YH5bTyR3VDvHbIBIOFpEikaiQ3VsPB751nvf2lsVl-19ATgi5Nfdyx09lci/s1600/1364783338412.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBXKUTDIXy5Qa9v8v6BlYXmXrcRgeeGWXOYduqPJINe3PxXW54MByeZnNjHTaqsQUkUAwASGx09e96qzaM9YH5bTyR3VDvHbIBIOFpEikaiQ3VsPB751nvf2lsVl-19ATgi5Nfdyx09lci/s1600/1364783338412.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">March 2013 (weak blowout)</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaLmaB2wsKQTtwFuuwZKosPDS06GOCAG6YeehHez88NzvBREn0oz3TIcgowz0pdC8NDjhqHM824KPPkHTlz4YR8pYpDyJDpGhRadEf_QQ16oBIj1eWc3cqmrSoD4RGlFJPSJPz4RMuZ2FT/s1600/CAM00194-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaLmaB2wsKQTtwFuuwZKosPDS06GOCAG6YeehHez88NzvBREn0oz3TIcgowz0pdC8NDjhqHM824KPPkHTlz4YR8pYpDyJDpGhRadEf_QQ16oBIj1eWc3cqmrSoD4RGlFJPSJPz4RMuZ2FT/s320/CAM00194-1.jpg" width="242" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj063Uf5gX_qcorzRTCsIagrr1_ea9uosaqxnd5UogBCWaHZqZbDoHToUMF0ILtQBstB4lrWE8RuKOLuB6DNGY486dhM1bu9REK7KwRD3qhObQ302YtHj1gwb-kQVDOrexLMtrNSh-yZVd6/s1600/CAM00210-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj063Uf5gX_qcorzRTCsIagrr1_ea9uosaqxnd5UogBCWaHZqZbDoHToUMF0ILtQBstB4lrWE8RuKOLuB6DNGY486dhM1bu9REK7KwRD3qhObQ302YtHj1gwb-kQVDOrexLMtrNSh-yZVd6/s320/CAM00210-1.jpg" width="226" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">August & September 2013 (weak blow outs)</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Note that these "blowouts" are very light and without following up with a flat iron (maybe I'll do that for New Year's, ?), but over the past 2 years I've gained about 8-9 inches. I've done few trims (I think I'm due for one now), and I had a little bit of an issue with breakage earlier this year when all I was wearing was top knots... remember Adventure in "Where the Hell Are My Edges Going? - Land? And how I got on that STAT!:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOHw02hjvv_y5TTk0kNvu-HdcCCd_9EGxOeCOPUxsGMUOFOyKejdtWztX8_MP2SFhnC-ur6NIkLIqwzb-HDXFCfGwvgdIguPwHqfknGmjUk_o8_vlZjhMjQJXmwHzdpEw7PuiZvb-sgyUp/s1600/Hairline+comparison.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOHw02hjvv_y5TTk0kNvu-HdcCCd_9EGxOeCOPUxsGMUOFOyKejdtWztX8_MP2SFhnC-ur6NIkLIqwzb-HDXFCfGwvgdIguPwHqfknGmjUk_o8_vlZjhMjQJXmwHzdpEw7PuiZvb-sgyUp/s400/Hairline+comparison.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzvWUIu5DvwziP1LhQI8MCXySjUdhkpuXOM3lEAX_ex8QYLUoedjA6hdjRf_BooKLt98GoYf4qGyB_pa2FF-D2hwu3sOVVw4CZcqVGbXc9mfBjRhTI0EZBUiJrBQ9DSj1QkUq_2f6TxtJf/s1600/Hairline+comparison+Mar+31.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="345" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzvWUIu5DvwziP1LhQI8MCXySjUdhkpuXOM3lEAX_ex8QYLUoedjA6hdjRf_BooKLt98GoYf4qGyB_pa2FF-D2hwu3sOVVw4CZcqVGbXc9mfBjRhTI0EZBUiJrBQ9DSj1QkUq_2f6TxtJf/s400/Hairline+comparison+Mar+31.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i>(the last photos are from March 31, 2013)</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i style="font-size: x-small;">...</i>but things are getting back on track. And lookie here, guess who actually styled her hair instead of the usual Wash n Go, tension blow dry, wrap it up, tuck it away and be done with it method! ME! </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I finger detangled and styled my 'do with flexi rods! I'll update with a recent pic soon.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
This winter weather is not being kind to my hair, and honestly, neither was I, so I pledge to moisturize and pamper my body and mind on a daily basis because I'm ready for more! Right now, though, I think I'm going to do a roller set. (I'm going to regret this decision in about an hour, I swear!)</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-43019392216396944532013-12-23T19:06:00.001-05:002013-12-23T19:06:16.061-05:00Oldie But Goodie<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOvnYqWfHgE3uYPh4mI-rH2F-KtOos8NrNw6iVHy4owTjTN4PxudReTY3C77NpPIytzru_-sFJBqCSl_AXaZEe8rdb4Hkg0lrLlEA52T8WbC_Vmop-bqAveLRxHepPB21vMVJxmwGkZ4Ad/s1600/Minna+Lessig+-+Balanced+Blend.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOvnYqWfHgE3uYPh4mI-rH2F-KtOos8NrNw6iVHy4owTjTN4PxudReTY3C77NpPIytzru_-sFJBqCSl_AXaZEe8rdb4Hkg0lrLlEA52T8WbC_Vmop-bqAveLRxHepPB21vMVJxmwGkZ4Ad/s1600/Minna+Lessig+-+Balanced+Blend.jpg" /></a></div>
I had to dig deep to find something to help me in my quest to lost the 15 pounds that I gained since the summer - Yes, less than 6 months ago.<br />
<br />
At first I thought my weight gain was a result of my fibroids. Now while they have contributed to the extra weight I have been feeling on my body, it wasn't that, completely. Then I thought, well, I have been snacking more, BUT I also ran several miles a week (I even ran a 3K at the end of August, non-stop, 37 minutes and 14 seconds <i>thank you very much!</i>), so it couldn't have been just that. Then I thought about the wine... and while that doesn't help, I don't usually drink every day (there has been a week or two when I've had a glass a wine every night, but that's unusual). And then when I thought about the tons of stress I was feeling as I still hadn't secured temp or permanent work, I thought, "DING DING DING!" That's it.<br />
<br />
My cortisol levels became so out of whack (I'm going to speak on this in another post), and to add the "depression" cherry on top, it's no wonder I gained weight, but so much weight in so little time has got me screaming "Hell Naw!"<br />
<br />
I got a temp gig that is alleviating some of the pressure, 8th grade for my son has been hell (for the both of us) and I wonder at age 38 if I'll ever get it together, so I had to stew in my 15 pounds of sewage some more before I really did something about it, so after I mostly recovered from some virus that had me hacking and sounding like a dude for almost a month, I got my ass in motion.<br />
<br />
I dust off the Wii and reacquainted myself with ZUMBA! Every day, and it has been great to my body. (Usually I run, but I haven't been of my usual temperament to be running in the cold like I used to - I don't know what happened, but instead of sitting around wondering, I figured out what I could do indoors, and like I said before, I got my ass in motion).<br />
<br />
As I sifted through my old workout videos I can across Strength and Grace, and The Fat Eliminator workouts that I relied on after I gave birth to my son...almost 13 years ago (February), and I thought, "well, that helped me to lose the baby weights, and I look like I just had a baby - even though I didn't - so why not?" And the universe was on my side because as I sifted through my addition otherwise known as Amazon.com, I found both workouts on 1 DVD, and on sale for $9.99, and yes I did order it. And yes I did just finish the Fat Eliminator workout AND the 15 Minute extra strength training portion with hand weights. And yes I do want to cry, especially since I did a 30 minute butt and leg workout by Hang Tight With MarC just last night and my ass was already hurting, BUT I feel good. Sore as hell, but I feel good.<br />
<br />
And why am I sweating like Rocky in the 10th round? Eww, but it is what it is. Operation Bikini and Get a New Tattoo in 2014 is in effect!<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-12630966259855410402013-08-27T20:15:00.000-04:002013-08-27T20:15:41.264-04:00The "D" WordI have to go on a diet.<br />
<br />
There, I said it. It needed to be said, and now it has to be done.<br />
<br />
Even though I just ran my first 5K race, and am ready for another, I have gained weight. Physical and emotional weight.<br />
<br />
<i>Side Note: I am sipping on a green smoothie as I type this entry. I'll provide the recipe and source at the end.</i><br />
<br />
I gained 10 pounds. In the past month. All of this is a result of stress.<br />
<br />
Worrying about finding a job, earning money, my son growing out of all of this clothes therefore intensifying my need for a job to earn more money to purchase more clothes and shoes for him...I have been on emotional overload.<br />
<br />
It hasn't all been bad. I finally shot (most of) my short film, and while very exhausting, it was a great experience. I did run the aforementioned 5K race - my first one, in 37 minutes and 14 seconds. My hair grew a lot. I got new funky glasses. I'm alive. But on the flip side, I stressed myself out so badly that my cycle came TWICE this month! Hear that? I had it. It ended. A week passed. AND I GOT IT AGAIN! For someone who has fibroid, is close to 40, and have no romantic prospects at this time to start and build a relationship that would result in having a baby as opposed to getting knocked. I've been snacking at night - definitely not a good look - I'm craving physical stimulation other than running, and I am worried about NYC's Mayoral race. I slouch (I can't believe I am constantly slouching!), and I have a gut (WTF - and it's not even from alcohol - at least I would be like "ok, I get it" but now I feel like I should have drank if I was going to end up with a gut!). 10 pounds!<br />
<br />
My mind is cluttered, and with no sense of direction. I would literally pay the scarecrow to point in several directions so I can find my way out of this. AND my 20th high school reunion is in a month and 2 weeks. If I'm not careful, my metabolism can spiral down to non-existent and I could end up gaining 20 pounds in one month. I know that is a bit of an over-exaggeration, but it's how I'm feeling these days.<br />
<br />
So I am dieting. I am doing that thing that women do in movies when they Rocky it out, but this isn't actually about the reunion, it's about how I avoid looking in the mirror too long to avoid what I am turning into. And I make sure to keep my eyes up. I got into one of my favorite dresses last week, and I looked great, and I didn't have to suck my gut in the whole time I wore it, but I can't say the same for some of my pants. Or other dresses. Or shirts. And as a result I am going to health smoothie route to help clear my mind and my colon while I figure out my next move. God help me, and wish me luck!<br />
<br />
Smoothie Recipe from <a href="http://www.smoothieweb.com/healthy-green-coconut-smoothie/">SmoothieWeb.com</a>:<br />
<br />
<h3 class="entry-title" style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 25px; line-height: 27px; margin: 0px 40px 5px 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Healthy Green Coconut Smoothie</span></h3>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJJ0nln2SdMVTVxh7tmrmlPoKzVPXVUDyCWoj_4qbib947X8lldBdMFkcpgnzFUlxSA0mbtsA_vBHE3FhDHiWpu4rn1y_BAUoHYBk7W6VeZAJresCRbkpgHz6RXj4BZKwBJFcuqItpM0bz/s1600/Green-Coconut-Smoothie-199x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJJ0nln2SdMVTVxh7tmrmlPoKzVPXVUDyCWoj_4qbib947X8lldBdMFkcpgnzFUlxSA0mbtsA_vBHE3FhDHiWpu4rn1y_BAUoHYBk7W6VeZAJresCRbkpgHz6RXj4BZKwBJFcuqItpM0bz/s200/Green-Coconut-Smoothie-199x300.jpg" width="132" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">It literally looks like this!</span></i></div>
<div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 18px;">
<strong>Ingredients:</strong></div>
<ul style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 0px 0px 9px 25px; padding: 0px;">
<li>2 bananas, frozen</li>
<li>2 HUGE handfuls spinach (you won’t even taste it)</li>
<li>1 cup milk (almond or soy is even better than moo juice)</li>
<li>1/4 teaspoon cinnamon</li>
<li>1 teaspoon vanilla</li>
<li>1 tablespoon coconut oil</li>
</ul>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 18px;">
Add all ingredients into a blender. Blend until mixed. Serve in tall glasses and enjoy.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 18px;">
Recipe submitted by <strong>Sierra</strong>, Rolla, MO</div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-71704039658396812212013-08-24T20:12:00.000-04:002013-08-24T20:12:36.849-04:00A change is gonna comeMy hair has changed. A lot.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It had grown in length, seems to have gotten thicker (I didn't even think that was possible), and now it seems that some of the products I use don't necessarily work anymore. This reminds me of the time when I realized that Cantu Shea Butter's Leave-In Conditioner didn't work for me anymore (honorable mention to Suave's Coconut Shampoo and Conditioner - that one really hurt).</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
A little over a month ago I was getting a bit annoyed with my hair. Sure it had grown a lot, but it also started tangling even more than before. Before it decided to change up on me, I used to be able to finger detangle once a week - when I washed it. Now I had to be detangling every other day and that totally didn't jive with my 'lazy except one day a week' hair routine. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Then I started to train for my first 5k race (which I coincidentally ran today at a clocked time of 37 minutes - yay for me!). Every morning I would run and then have to deal with my hair - and I am not one of these women who isn't going to work out because of some damn hair - uhhhhh, no. So I put my hair in mini twists for 2 weeks, and after I couldn't take the frizzing after washing it, I did the twists over adding a little bit of kanekalon hair to hold it right. That lasted 4 weeks for a total of 6 weeks of my hair being in two-strand twists. And then two days before the race I took them out (and still ran the race - booyah! LOL!)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The results of this hair break are great! I gained some length (I would say less than an inch), as I mentioned before it looks thicker, and I needed the break even from weekly washing to deal with some things (including an incredible amount of stress, shooting a video project, training, and job hunting). If I didn't take this hair break, I feel like it would have broken off or I would have inadvertently done something damaging. So I took my twists with the kanekalon hair out on Thursday (you ever wonder why you're doing something while in the middle of doing it?), and had to handle it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It was not fun. At all.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I started off my sectioning my hair in to big braids - I think about 8 - thinking this would help. Sigh. I have a lotta hair ya'll. I applied a mixture of conditioner and my pre-poo oil mixture to help me out. Left that on for over an hour and then proceeded to wash my scalp first with my homemade black soap shampoo (I used this because the black soap cleans makeup off my skin so well I figured it was the best product to use to clarify my scalp (not so much for my hair). I then used Shea Moisture's Raw Shea Shampoo (and ended up taking out the braids because it just wasn't happening in the sections. I was still removing the kanekalon from my hair and I had to do it with all of my hair out). I then spent damn near an hour using one of the Herbal Essence conditioners to finger detangle and braid my hair into sections again, followed by a black tea rinse before rinsing with cool water.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now here is where I made a change in my regimen. Instead of using my Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie, after finger detangling (again), I squeezed excess water from my hair with an old t-shirt, and applied Extra Virgin Coconut oil - I hadn't figured out the best way to use this for my hair, but after doing some research I decided to try again because the biggest problem I seemed to be having with my hair before I put it in twists was retaining moisture, and I know that the answer lie in my hair washing routine. I braided my hair into six braids, wrapped the t-shirt around my hair, and went to sleep!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The next morning I ran over three miles and thought about what the heck I was going to do with my still-not-dry hair. I decided to do a soft blow out, so I did this section by section, applying more coconut oil, Tresseme's heat protectant, and using the wide tooth comb attachment on the warm and then cool settings, and ended up looking like Chaka Khan in her Rufus days (yes!). I followed that up with some chunky twists, let it hang for a bit, pulled it into a bun, put on my scarf and kept it moving!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Here's the thing: I finally figured out how coconut oil works for me and that I have to pull back (or all together stop) with the heavier products on my hair. The EVCO totally conditioned and moisturized my hair. It was so agreeable in the last detangling session, and leaving it on my hair to mostly air dry allowed my hair to really absorb it. I also use EVCO for my skin and cooking.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
As for my heavy butters and oils, they have their place. When the weather gets colder I can use the butters on my body, and as for my castor oil and Jamaican black castor oil, I will use it on my scalp, but it's a no go for my hair. I will also clean my scalp weekly with apple cider vinegar, but wash my hair every other week (well see how long that lasts!).</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I also realized something: while my hair on my head is very thick, I have learned that my actual hair strands are very fine (aka, very sensitive). Seeing how I am able to retain length as a result of the changes to my regimen over the year makes me understand why Shea Moisture's Yucca and Baobab products for fine hair works so well for me. The one thing I will say about all of this is there is always something new to learn and I have to not get complacent in paying attention to my body and hair and the adjustments that I will always have to make along the way to stay healthy (and happy).</div>
<div>
<b><br /></b></div>
<div>
<b>Note: I know, I didn't take photos. I just wanted to get outta my hair at the time, but I still should have taken a pic of two. I will in two weeks.</b></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-9593021457141275382013-07-21T23:17:00.000-04:002013-07-21T23:17:27.258-04:00My Bad!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9WIjXuXIYBvYIP2StmZBHl67D1ZuTfDoLXybWvh_nSZSaVcsfOKMKx8phyphenhyphen7njZQuymOy-kCQ0PD-fzpBIpgB94BZ_MDQnficlg60F5KjTLpMa73HZUNJVZbiFujKZH2vwYe659xgqZPCG/s1600/5891634-oops-button-on-computer-keyboard-showing-error-or-mistake-concept.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9WIjXuXIYBvYIP2StmZBHl67D1ZuTfDoLXybWvh_nSZSaVcsfOKMKx8phyphenhyphen7njZQuymOy-kCQ0PD-fzpBIpgB94BZ_MDQnficlg60F5KjTLpMa73HZUNJVZbiFujKZH2vwYe659xgqZPCG/s1600/5891634-oops-button-on-computer-keyboard-showing-error-or-mistake-concept.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I could have learned the lesson of believing someone when
they first tell or show you who they are, I would be the happiest woman alive.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had a conversation with a friend today and
she asked me how I was doing. And specifically, if I was D-A-T-I-N-G (she
spelled it out because I was on speaker phone as she was preparing her children
for a hiking trip and didn't want them all up in my business, lol!). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have come to realize that I hate that question because I
don’t know when I ever really have truly dated someone. Hung out with? Check.
Physically intimate with? Check? Stuck by him when he’s going through shit?
Check. But those little nuggets do not a relationship make – even a ‘dating’ relationship.
And that is no one’s fault but my own. I own it now, but before I became an
adult who realized I had issues that I need to fix, I blamed my parents, and it
is that very reason why I am always striving to get my shit together so that I don't end up presenting a screwed up way of dealing with people for my son to witness. Right
now, I’d say I’m at a 55 out of 100 in today’s quiz.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Back to my conversation with my friend, I told her that I
thought I was over the last “situation” I'd tangled myself up in, but the last few weeks it’s been on the forefront of my
mind (this is a situation that started 2 years ago - have to specify since some dudes think you never get over them). And I actually owned 75% of that a debacle of a
hope of a relationship with someone who dropped hints.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m being very generous with myself when I say he ‘dropped
hints.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When a man tells you on the first date that he usually goes
for looks, but decided to try something different, and he’s sitting opposite
you at a restaurant, <b>run Forrest, run </b>because that was not a compliment.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Also, when he only wants to be around you, actually call
instead of text, hounds you all day because you didn't respond and send a
smiley face to his generic GM text one day, he’s not worried about you possibly
being dragged into a dark alley somewhere, he’s panicking because his daily ego
boost isn't boosting his ego. (PS, did the song “Say My Name” not teach folks
anything… that GM text went to more than one of us and he was just waiting to
see who responded first).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When you are in a bad car accident and he never shows up…
(I’m not even going to embarrass myself by finishing that sentence.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And with all of this I've asked myself why, when I’d back
after thinking he didn't want me, would he pursue me if he didn't really want
me? Why would I need to disappear in order for him to begrudging grunt that he
missed me, or to show an ounce of interest in my well-being? Shouldn't I have
felt wanted and engaged regardless? And if the answer to that question is yes,
then why did I waste my time, and be a co-conspirator with him in making myself
believe that whatever minimal effort he put into momentarily placating me to
get what he wanted was enough? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
And so I go back to the time before I became a somewhat
responsible adult, where I blame my parents. When you grow up in chaos, I've
found that as an adult I am always in ‘fix-it’ mode. I’m still trying to fix
the crap that went on between my parents, the violent and hateful relationship
between my father and me (I literally shook in my seat as I typed the words “my
father”)… I am still living in the past where as a child I had no control over
the Lifetime miniseries that was my childhood. And with each ‘relationship’
that I have been in, I have piled all of the things that needed to be fixed to
my original to do list until I had to do a little Spring cleaning when the
closet started to overflow. Now the closet is just full. And that is why I’m
having flashbacks; I mean some serious dreams that seem real as hell, regarding
my last situation. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And for that, I say “My Bad.” However, I do need to amend
something that I said earlier: I’m only owning 50% of that mess… I’m tired of
taking 100% of the responsibility for something we both did.<o:p></o:p></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-29017134723232196732013-06-24T16:55:00.000-04:002013-06-24T16:55:49.992-04:00What's in a Name? Store Brand products that are just as good as name brandsI'm feeling a little Oprah-esque today and thought I'd share some of my favorite store brand name products.<br />
<br />
It all started with <b>Family Dollar's Revitalizing Cocoa Butter Scent Gel Body Oil </b>(the close cousin of Vaseline Intensive Care Cocoa Butter Vitalizing Gel Body Oil).<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeF7mne9u5McB2wOiExACYzDo0Z1XqQrGzS-gOtkQksy3xDunKkC1s5o9KahvAwV4YAcWuq8UBe18UAgkgGxwLd2NicK6NZMadaVKa8YFCpCY2VymB0M8kObzgwlXx6Mu_jdeVsjRHHC_W/s1600/CAM00161.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeF7mne9u5McB2wOiExACYzDo0Z1XqQrGzS-gOtkQksy3xDunKkC1s5o9KahvAwV4YAcWuq8UBe18UAgkgGxwLd2NicK6NZMadaVKa8YFCpCY2VymB0M8kObzgwlXx6Mu_jdeVsjRHHC_W/s200/CAM00161.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I'd seen this product for a while now, but I was on my "all natural products' kick, but with the summer coming and my desire to glow all of a sudden, I thought it wouldn't hurt to try out this little ditty for $3.25. Well, let me tell you, I put a little bit of this gel on one arm and immediately felt like a golden goddess (I know, ridiculous).<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
*</div>
<br />
Next is a product line that I have used in the past (and will this summer), but most recently turned my son onto as he enters the puberty zone, and that's <b>Family Dollar's Oil Free Acne Wash </b>and <b>Acne Treatment Cream</b>.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtRPlen-ukm-1jlRaC_6ac-QLrqUqaiwPszZ7614u_sXU5MfvnE1XtPz4Q54p7vMUdzgekf8ZjTP5knuUo60AxiSBox9TsJFE7Fb3OpxRT06Uho679SxaRHgM2YSh8n0heCripOhL9Aiu4/s1600/CAM00162-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtRPlen-ukm-1jlRaC_6ac-QLrqUqaiwPszZ7614u_sXU5MfvnE1XtPz4Q54p7vMUdzgekf8ZjTP5knuUo60AxiSBox9TsJFE7Fb3OpxRT06Uho679SxaRHgM2YSh8n0heCripOhL9Aiu4/s200/CAM00162-1.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
Close cousins to Neutrogena's Oil Free Acne Wash and Clearasil's Acne Cream, the wash has the standard 2% Salicylic Acid, and the cream has 10% Benzoyl Peroxide. The one thing that finally clicked with me as I help my son navigate through this stage of growth is that it is important to follow the directions. I they are followed then the results will come in a timely manner.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
*</div>
<br />
Exfoliating is so important, especially as the hot and humid season descends upon us suffering East coasters, and the Clarisonic face cleaning brush is very popular (and expensive). Well, even if I did have the funds to spend over $100 to spend on said brush, I wouldn't - I'm just too darn frugal for that, so imagine my surprise when I see the <b>Acne Free Advanced Cleansing Brush</b> in CVS (although I didn't purchase it until I was able to get it for $14.99 in Target, where I bought 2!).<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifZa-BsbSxLU4deLJmorhiBTC2NzCD5_-B_tpPv5jvp6FyEZhKy4mVdUHbpvqijn-AXrocGLu2xGZoUCvD-gJFgdCT2cOJ79Ykyvry12s3i4FpMw8cAlzDx3Q_2q71HdJI1cLhOv9NHiY_/s1600/CAM00164-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifZa-BsbSxLU4deLJmorhiBTC2NzCD5_-B_tpPv5jvp6FyEZhKy4mVdUHbpvqijn-AXrocGLu2xGZoUCvD-gJFgdCT2cOJ79Ykyvry12s3i4FpMw8cAlzDx3Q_2q71HdJI1cLhOv9NHiY_/s200/CAM00164-1.jpg" width="120" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>*not a store brand, but a very affordable brand</i></div>
<br />
This little treat runs on 2 double A batteries and includes 2 brush attachments. It operated on 2 speeds, and even though I'm sure there are more benefits to investing in a Clarisonic, the AcneFree Cleansing Brush is a nice substitute.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
*</div>
<br />
In addition, when you don't want to unpack the electronic cleansing brush, there's always the generic hand held version that I got from a random beauty supply store for $1.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheHWKUYmOb1NV__tbOyl4oj1dBkMENybJiL1jowWGzfTOfKHkTtoq_juLYjdjAzHfFKiiKOdWYD30uGLncpT0tLThWcf_DVFrXbpSdApXfbNtV9-G6to5Q5apAj5j-XH32hQc-JpBWPWZq/s1600/CAM00165.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheHWKUYmOb1NV__tbOyl4oj1dBkMENybJiL1jowWGzfTOfKHkTtoq_juLYjdjAzHfFKiiKOdWYD30uGLncpT0tLThWcf_DVFrXbpSdApXfbNtV9-G6to5Q5apAj5j-XH32hQc-JpBWPWZq/s200/CAM00165.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
<br />
When I'm running behind schedule, I use this in the shower.<br />
<br />
As the summer approaches, and I get older, I'm becoming even more aware of how I treat my body. While great genes (thanks Grandma) and healthy living play a factor, there's nothing wrong with a little self-pampering (and yes that sounded just as weird in my head as it may in yours!). Everyone deserves to pamper themselves and it shouldn't hurt the wallet, so I will continue to seek out cost effective ways to do this.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-9313676723599491972013-06-24T07:52:00.000-04:002013-06-24T07:52:06.048-04:00Out of the mouths of babes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0yF5ihCpdNEdxPySkqyMy-U865OBcaX4Q2D6AcQfLt2VcN7MvuJ6ODjM4lqQh2scoiPUgGqfixGjlaVyVYunJW8XjFwdRREa5dJ1JMw9dsvaJKP0k6cRWdbIHabWxpBMnL6crnTk4x7Oe/s1600/photogrpah-a-rainbow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0yF5ihCpdNEdxPySkqyMy-U865OBcaX4Q2D6AcQfLt2VcN7MvuJ6ODjM4lqQh2scoiPUgGqfixGjlaVyVYunJW8XjFwdRREa5dJ1JMw9dsvaJKP0k6cRWdbIHabWxpBMnL6crnTk4x7Oe/s200/photogrpah-a-rainbow.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
Sometimes I question how developed I am.<br />
<br />
On paper, I have a good head on my shoulders, though not without faults. I work hard. People trust me to get things done, and I care deeply (to a fault sometimes) for others. But I have been consistently unsuccessful at one things: forgiving myself.<br />
<br />
Instead, I try to work the guilt out of me, doggedly pursuing a way to make things right, even though I know things just are as they are with no chance to change. And I wholly accept the responsibility for influencing change, even if there is the slimmest to none chance of that ever even happening. In essence, I drive myself crazy. One accusation that will always be false is that I don't take responsibility for my actions. If anything, I take on too much instead of just letting things be because I'm a fixer. It's my greatest strength and my biggest weakness. And it is something that I must manage in order to actually live.<br />
<br />
I had to share a hard truth with my son, who also has the 'give it to me straight' attitude that I have. I didn't want to tell him to let something go...to erase the kind of hope that a kid holds onto before he becomes a cynical adult like his me. I just didn't want to take that away from him, but I had to for our own good. No parent wants to see their child hurt, but I think that in order to truly raise them the best you can, you just have to be there to hold their hand when they hurt, because it's an inevitable and redundant occurrence.<br />
<br />
It broke my heart to do it. He saw that it broke my heart to tell him something he didn't want to hear. I felt like I had failed at helping him with something, despite having helped him with so many other things in his life. And when I could actually look him in the eyes and not really break down, he held my gaze, put his hand on my shoulder and in a wobbly voice said, 'Ma, it's ok. I'm fine. No matter what, I'd rather be here than not be here so I'm ok.' And with that, I felt like I had been absolved of all of my fuck ups for the past 13 years.<br />
<br />
I wish I could say that I learned how to forgive myself all on my own, but I did not. My son did that for me, for the both of us, and there aren't enough words to express the gratitude I have for him showing me the way towards forgiving myself and moving on.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-91534003475359371952013-04-21T19:34:00.000-04:002013-04-21T19:34:06.013-04:00Inside Out, Outside InI've not been very successful in my health pursuits, and not for lack of trying.<br />
<br />
I get up at 6am and work out. I run on the weekends. I stay away from bad snacks. I even gave up wine for 2 weeks straight. Despite all of that, I've been tired, moody, and depressed (I'm fine right after I work out, but as the day wears on, my mood plummets).<br />
<br />
I do some part time work, I was taking business classes, I've been planning a new art project, all of this in addition to being a single parent raising a son in New York. My son attends middle school. An all-boys school, and the experience has left a lot to be desired, but thankfully he is involved in various academic programs, he maintains an A- average, and even though he tests the mommy-waters sometimes, he's an overall good soon.<br />
<br />
I walk around my once decent neighborhood and I don't know what happened. People have gotten meaner (or maybe I've gotten softer). Walking out my door to deal with the mean streets of the Bronx, I feel myself putting on my Iron Man armor with the hopes of just doing what I need to do without getting into it with anyone.<br />
<br />
I like to walk down the street with my head held high. It actually does a lot for my self-esteem to do that, but I can't because people allow their dogs to shit on the sidewalks, everywhere. It's like playing hopscotch, except you're trying not to step on dog shit, so don't date look up or you will, as I did one day, find your foot in a soft steaming pile of it before it's too late.<br />
<br />
I just want to walk down the street with my head held high. Is that too much to ask?<br />
Is it too much to ask that if I need to purchase clothes in my neighborhood shops, that at least one store supplies clothes that are fit for business? How many stores do we need selling the same ole stretch pants, cut out shirts, unitards, glitter tank tops, and 6 inch hooker shoes? <br />
<br />
I've come to the solid conclusion that I have outgrown my hometown.<br />
<br />
When I was a kid, I used to go outside and play. There are no kids in the neighborhood for my son to play with because it's all about video games, getting girls, and fighting each other to prove their malehood (since none of these boys are no where near being men).<br />
<br />
A kid - one of my son's classmates - yelled at me. (Pause: I checked that ass, no doubt, but the fact that he didn't even think twice about it started to break the last bit of spirit I was feeling about being in my hometown. This morning, a neighbor yelled at me because I asked why she removed my clothes from the washer when I was standing right there (apparently, I didn't move fast enough for her and I don't respect people's time. Huh????). I checked her too, not for her actions, but for her being rude when I asked her about it. An employee flipped out when I told him his boss now requires all employees to fill out time sheets. I handled that professionally as well. But I have to say, these incidents took a lot out of me emotionally. I sat here today wishing I was that stereotype of a black girl from the Bronx who curses out anyone that crosses the line. I'm not a pushover, but apparently people think that when you're not hurling f-bombs at them. I shouldn't have to do that. I don't need to do that. And yet I hate the feeling that they may think they're gotten the best of me because I didn't show my ass right along with them.<br />
<br />
The last time I did show my ass was to a former supervisor. I had an Iyanla/DMX moment where I proclaimed that she will not speak to me (the way she did) ever again. I followed that up with a complaint to the HR department, and a week later, my services were no longer needed. I was relieved, but then I thought, well, if I was going to lose my job, I should have at least dropped an f-bomb or two since pride doesn't pay the bills.<br />
<br />
Another time, I had to tell a man who I had dated in the past, to stop texting me inappropriate photos of his anatomy. What did I get for reminding him that I had standards and wasn't going to bite the carrot that he was dangling in front of me when we both knew he didn't want me? LOLOL... I actually have to laugh before I write this... he cut me off, blocked me... because I told him my favorite part of his body was his face (hint, hint, stop sending me pics of your junk).<br />
<br />
Yep, it's been that kind of a time people. And as a result of the stress that has been building and building... no amount of push ups, and HIT training, and boxing, and running, and not drinking soda or eating candy or beef, or cake....none of that is helping me to get in the kind of physical shape that I aspire to.<br />
<br />
Stress is a BEAST. I hate the muthafucker.<br />
<br />
Stress is my biggest enemy.<br />
<br />
Stress in increasing my cortisol levels, which is why I don't have my washboard abs.<br />
<br />
Stress has me tired all the time, but I gets no good sleep.<br />
<br />
Stress has me thinking I look 10 years older than I actually am (interesting, others think I look great, but I feel like crap. It's like people who suffer from eating disorders - it's not so much about how they look, but how they feel).<br />
<br />
I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I do ask that God wakes me up in the morning so that I can continue to sort through this mess because I'm not ready to give up yet.<br />
<br />
I'm frustrated. Disappointed. Hurt. A little bit angry. A lot exasperated. Confused. Tired. Anxious. Achy. But I'm not ready to give up just yet. Not yet.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-45066259612020258152013-04-03T18:32:00.003-04:002013-04-03T18:32:50.305-04:00Wine Review: Luscious Vines Coco TropicalI thought I'd try something a little different - a wine review from a layman's point of view.<br />
<br />
While I have a history with wines, I'm going to start with a wine I just tried for the first time yesterday: Luscious Vines Coco Tropical.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9mgWjMPrScP-riaQBnaqjzMPdNvo7m_td5yxi7Pm76U5iHd8_y-D65IKbXco2QK_3-fD856QgCqM3g-0eT6VbfYhDJfteQRIZjUv-4I9bavdQVrTWuto_PVMkKniJCx9uSNShgPHz8VWc/s1600/Luscious+Vines+Coco+Tropical.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9mgWjMPrScP-riaQBnaqjzMPdNvo7m_td5yxi7Pm76U5iHd8_y-D65IKbXco2QK_3-fD856QgCqM3g-0eT6VbfYhDJfteQRIZjUv-4I9bavdQVrTWuto_PVMkKniJCx9uSNShgPHz8VWc/s1600/Luscious+Vines+Coco+Tropical.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
The back of the bottle reads as follows:<br />
"Luscious Vines Coco Tropical is a delicious drink with added flavor of fruit and coconuts and mixed with premium wine."<br />
<br />
I don't know if it's because Spring is in the air, my taste buds have changed, or what, but I am digging this light, tropical (and very affordable) wine. When I take a sip, I feel like I'd eating an icee of a hot summer day. It has a refreshing taste that puts me in a sipping and relaxing mood. Does that even make sense? When I drink it, I don't want to guzzle it, I want to savor it slowly. I usually fill a wine glass up less than 50% of the way (sometimes it's even just at 24%), and it took me a half hour just to get through that little bit because I seem to be enjoying the actual experience of drinking the wine, and its flavors. I don't know if it's the island girl in me, but I love it's mixture of coconut and fruit flavors (almost like a high class, lightweight sangria).<br />
<br />
Last night I paired this drink with some Tilapia fish balls (homemade), and sweet potato fries. I love fish and usually fill myself to the brim when I make it, but I ate a small portion of food, a quarter of a glass of the wine, and I was full.<br />
<br />
Another cool thing is this wine is local - Washingtonville, NY... I might just have to take a trip out to the vineyard.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-65431043623290630502013-04-01T01:05:00.000-04:002013-04-01T01:05:05.158-04:00Hair growth progressMy, how the time has flown.<br />
<br />
I chopped off my hair in a fit of 'I don't know what' back in May 2010.<br />
<br />
It started off as a trim, but I just kept cutting and cutting. There was so much going on in and around me, and when I feel chaos I do drastic things like move furniture, paint walls, purge items from my closet, or cut my hair.<br />
<br />
I still do the other things, but I wanted to stop chopping off my hair when I got in a mood, so I decided to look more inward that react outwardly, however, that last big chop was more than necessary. I think I adapted healthier hair care habits, and tested my own patience, as well as learned a lot (and will continue to).<br />
<br />
I went from this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOZPddm1_Ocs5odVXL0YD9Hk2Lk1eNupMHIGCu9tcEiZU5Kb5s4Ze-Q_AAocVo3tVjGx2flGjB_x9GYC9uLbDrUlnqdjeX1psx40byEjvf45rhPfgvwCPeiRDbTvG8reaHvnZha2DHvLYp/s1600/Hair+journey+from+May+2010-Jan+2011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOZPddm1_Ocs5odVXL0YD9Hk2Lk1eNupMHIGCu9tcEiZU5Kb5s4Ze-Q_AAocVo3tVjGx2flGjB_x9GYC9uLbDrUlnqdjeX1psx40byEjvf45rhPfgvwCPeiRDbTvG8reaHvnZha2DHvLYp/s1600/Hair+journey+from+May+2010-Jan+2011.jpg" height="175" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
To this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiekmEFwAcKVHYlTlZL0OFNHoEPGIQWKf6i5vx87C9en5PEeoKdX-Qei-2HWOpDd6o6_xF7Ds26DyD6OaplDK-vTDMpBmSERZZgeZ0ZltCflPNuwBSIf8Ycw4xjo0Xw74qwzapwCEFjAfag/s1600/1364783315721.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiekmEFwAcKVHYlTlZL0OFNHoEPGIQWKf6i5vx87C9en5PEeoKdX-Qei-2HWOpDd6o6_xF7Ds26DyD6OaplDK-vTDMpBmSERZZgeZ0ZltCflPNuwBSIf8Ycw4xjo0Xw74qwzapwCEFjAfag/s1600/1364783315721.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
I won't say that things got easier (except for the fact that I am more comfortable with myself now than I have ever been in my entire life... jobless, loveless, and all), but I damn sure learned other ways, maybe more healthier, productive ways to get through things. I'm no where near my final destination as I embark on healthier living, getting into a bikini for my 38th birthday, lol!, becoming an entrepreneur, and being the artist I set out to be many years ago. It's hard ya'll, but worth the effort. Stay tuned!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-26118979825478101862013-04-01T00:43:00.000-04:002013-04-01T00:43:12.061-04:00Hairline Regrowth ProgressEarlier this month I took photos of my thinning hairline, which was a result of wearing my hair in a top bun ALL THE TIME. I got comfortable...lazy. And I paid for it. For the first time in my life I knew what many other women go through when it came to the thinning hair line. I literally was like "What?" And then I took action.<br />
<br />
I immediately pulled out my unopened second bottle of MTG - yes, the -ish that smells like bacon grease! I was a horse losing it's damn hair and I needed help stat! And then I whipped out the Jamaican Castor oil. As mentioned in a previous post, I bought the oil and didn't find much use for it. I even threatened to give it away, but I kept it and used it as a carrier oil for my scalp oil. Well in this case, I mixed the MTG with the Jamaican Castor oil, and massaged my hairline daily.<br />
<br />
I thought I'd seen a difference in a couple of days, but figured that was wishful thinking. I wanted to wait a while to take follow up photos to compare to the original ones, but I saw a major difference in the 3 weeks that I have been using this scalp oil, as well as continuing with the Shea Moisture Yucca and Baobob product line (if I could drink the Hair Milk, I would - it has been a miracle to my hair).<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiLxv7GNYKkuDLaCZTpxraJIS5NDjv18BVG8SMnIqrWqbPm6VG4CiVofDavDwVev-PZyy4wpVv2YqGREM4-Be-bE16sSsB8rDeKQoMenY6RArzGs3BPttEHIc9DpT-uxItF0yqjSk_X3NK/s1600/Hairline+comparison+Mar+31.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiLxv7GNYKkuDLaCZTpxraJIS5NDjv18BVG8SMnIqrWqbPm6VG4CiVofDavDwVev-PZyy4wpVv2YqGREM4-Be-bE16sSsB8rDeKQoMenY6RArzGs3BPttEHIc9DpT-uxItF0yqjSk_X3NK/s1600/Hairline+comparison+Mar+31.jpg" height="276" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">(for whatever reason, the date is not showing on the second set of </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">photos, which were taken on March 31)</span></div>
<br />
<br />
It is without question that I am satisfied with the progress that I am making, and will continue on this path. I also changed my hair maintenance routine a bit, as I've found that the longer my hair gets, the more work it seems to require (and here I thought I would be able to just throw it up in a ponytail or bun and keep it moving... NOT!).<br />
<br />
This is the second week where I am wearing my hair in a partial blow out (I blow my hair out with cool and warm air, not the hot air that I used to use back in the day). And I have gone back to styling it daily (ugh!), but mainly because I oil my scalp and re-moisturize every night. That routine goes as follows:<br />
<ol>
<li>I finger-part my hair into 4 sections (I do not use a comb when my hair isn't wet, and even when it is wet, I detangle with my fingers - not a bit comb in hair fan).</li>
<li>I apply a quarter size of the Shea Moisture Yucca and Baobob Hair Milk to each section, then apply a dime size of my homemade Hair Buttercream.</li>
<li>I place the section in a ponytail and braid the loose hair.</li>
</ol>
<br />
In the morning I add a bit of homemade hair pudding followed by hair buttercream to the sections closest to the roots to control those stray hairs. Just before heading out for the day, I release the 4 braids, shake my head a bit, and peace out.<br />
<br />
The one major thing I discovered after using the Shea Moisture Yucca and Baobob hair products (shampoo every other week, conditioner weekly, hair milk daily, and now the hair masque which I will use with every shampoo), is that my hair was soooooo soft, but strong. Strong enough that I feel confident with the blow out hair (I usually get nervous after a couple days and spray it to coil it up).<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-7217726877624099852013-03-10T12:57:00.002-04:002013-03-10T12:57:39.459-04:007 Day Detox - Other RecipesI fell off on posting my food photos, but I did continue with the 7-Day Food Detox.<br />
<br />
Here's another dish that I prepared that I enjoyed (but my son did not - he actually said it was too sweet). It's a sweet and sour stir fry with brown rice. I cooked brown rice with a tablespoon of coconut oil (my new favorite cooking oil), a pre-packaged stir fry mix (broccoli, sweet peppers, carrots), and I added some corn. The vegetables were cooked in tomato sauce, pineapple juice with chunks of pineapple, honey, and a splash of vinegar.<br />
<br />
.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtjsyZQO34V7eoch6yDpVS-IbAbAov7FgsFwfgl714-qIZgGr6qRKeWiwHm94TTgPSxtCKuuQSMzslb_HmeklHpKbMqNmJH2mxZFJ3FTSiVKqLoHHKxtMgEhLbWddn4gyYaZ4IOaDIJlIx/s1600/2013-03-04+22.08.22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtjsyZQO34V7eoch6yDpVS-IbAbAov7FgsFwfgl714-qIZgGr6qRKeWiwHm94TTgPSxtCKuuQSMzslb_HmeklHpKbMqNmJH2mxZFJ3FTSiVKqLoHHKxtMgEhLbWddn4gyYaZ4IOaDIJlIx/s320/2013-03-04+22.08.22.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I thought it taste great, and I will continue to make this dish. For my
son, I'm told he needs some meat with this dish - I can do that<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-87022149475095075332013-03-10T12:55:00.000-04:002013-03-11T11:26:47.300-04:00Update on Product UsageI think I used to be a product junkie, but I was mostly a 'recipe junkie' - I was always mixing something new because I just like to create things. I've been like this since I was a kid, growing up with my Caribbean Grandma and Mom, we cooked (my Grandma even made candy!). Anyway, I've always been that friend who knows how to make this, or mix that, for whatever ailment you got.<br />
<br />
After chopping my hair off back on 2010, a lot of products worked great. On my short hair. Now that my hair is 7-10 inches long, a lot of things, methods just don't work anymore. I feel like my hair texture changed, even before I started coloring it again (at first for style reasons, now I'm actively covering greys ya'll!). And just in general, with my thick hair, it's just too damn much. This is why I kept my hair chin length from my teens thru my 20s. I remember now why my mom couldn't handle my hair and 4 other kids. I remember why she sent me to get a perm (I still wouldn't have done it myself, I'd have just kept my hair in braids). I remember it all, BUT I'm still not cutting it, and I still ain't getting a perm.<br />
<br />
As a result of being overwhelmed by my hair, I took to keeping my hair up in a bun when I lost my job. Maybe once or twice a week I would take it out, but I'd keep it up all week, and it grew so much. And then I started incorporating one of those keratin conditioners in my co-wash routine, to handle all the frizz because I was doing less. The conditioner did a great job without changing the texture of my hair from what I could tell and feel, so I thought why not try the shampoo. 2 weeks later I realized that was a mistake. Also all the bunning was a mistake too. Interestingly my son said to me a couple months ago, 'Ma, you shouldn't tighten your bun.' I thought he was mistaken, my bun wasn't too tight.<br />
<br />
Well, it either was, or my hair got mad at me for not doing anything
with my hair because my shyt starting falling OUT. Whole strands. NOT
breaking off... FALLING OUT. AND my hairline in the front has "eroded" -
that's the nicest word I can think of.And I freaked out. I actually
cried and flashed back to the time my mom was trying to save money and
had her friend's 14 year old daughter named Tiny put a perm in and TAKE
OUT my hair when I was 14. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFue71vETT89J4CVnUBIclRTibM0B2RxQazU-RZJ-LRTkG-cZy5fTZiZrNdw3pNwxazpSfzZjXvPaNkfhpJPJkRAbeFTlhhQznPOYu0PkJvm6ngO105vESppp9x6Tp9wwAj1RQobHIBOqj/s1600/Hairline+comparison.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFue71vETT89J4CVnUBIclRTibM0B2RxQazU-RZJ-LRTkG-cZy5fTZiZrNdw3pNwxazpSfzZjXvPaNkfhpJPJkRAbeFTlhhQznPOYu0PkJvm6ngO105vESppp9x6Tp9wwAj1RQobHIBOqj/s320/Hairline+comparison.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
A few weeks ago, I washed and conditioned my hair (I tried cleansing every other week, but I need every week), finger detangled, and loss so much hair, I could have made a wig for a small child. Even a friend of mine told me that while I still had a lot of hair, it looked thinner (the previous week we joked about how I looked like a poodle). I felt so defeated. And I truly had to dig inside and repeat "I am not my hair" to myself, and just remember all of the other things about me (I wasn't sure if the shedding was going to stop since it'd been happening for 2 weeks).<br />
<br />
Then I remembered Shea Moisture produced hair products for thin hair. I hit up the local CVS and they only had the shampoo, so I purchased it and Organix's new Biotin and Collagen conditioner because I was not in the mood to drive around looking for the Shea Moisture conditioner. I used the products, along with performing a tea rinse, and while there was shedding, it was less.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9HniKMU_UlnMjAgnlo6xO6SDsVEIrkHxMtlSw3U1tXj5o0jgsIqMSWloUUr5_-XYujrFIQXQ6NNVHps1MILuXir6pwhMsLKf8_anaQUv4X2ejLMMjfdqsqgDieo2-Kt-q6ViE-G4d_13z/s1600/Shea_Moisture_Organic_Yucca_Baobab_Bundle_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9HniKMU_UlnMjAgnlo6xO6SDsVEIrkHxMtlSw3U1tXj5o0jgsIqMSWloUUr5_-XYujrFIQXQ6NNVHps1MILuXir6pwhMsLKf8_anaQUv4X2ejLMMjfdqsqgDieo2-Kt-q6ViE-G4d_13z/s320/Shea_Moisture_Organic_Yucca_Baobab_Bundle_.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I've also been oiling my scalp with the MTG oil (and a lot of peppermint essential oil mixed in to cover the smell). It's been 2 weeks, and my shedding has decreased significantly - I would say it's back to normal. I also finally obtained the conditioner, as well as the Hair Milk (off topic: the Hair Milk does nothing for my hair when wet, but when dry it gives my hair the boost it needs in between washing and I love it).<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9qPqebq_5s9irWOvqMs8yq2Y_oF0lg9GXiMbrfTF_mAVItWYdj786jSpONMUQVpTe2bXthqw5Sqt33DXTGUEONW9ex3ui9qP9lPr9uEncsXRRtTk-7rIHR37-oT1xtaBfn4za6B9R8OAX/s1600/mtg+oil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9qPqebq_5s9irWOvqMs8yq2Y_oF0lg9GXiMbrfTF_mAVItWYdj786jSpONMUQVpTe2bXthqw5Sqt33DXTGUEONW9ex3ui9qP9lPr9uEncsXRRtTk-7rIHR37-oT1xtaBfn4za6B9R8OAX/s1600/mtg+oil.jpg" /></a></div>
Looking at the photos, especially the most recent ones, I sit here and can't believe it. I mean I am looking at the Naomi Campbell hairline for real. I guess that's what I get for being careless with my hair. I did forget to take care of myself with the stress of job hunting and other emotional trials, but still.... Anyway, onward and upward.<br />
<br />
<strong>UPDATE:</strong><br />
Yes, it's only been one day but I had to give my quick review of how the Shea Moisture conditioner worked. So, I co-washed last night, dividing two sides of my hair into 7 braids on each side (no more washing my hair loose). I sprayed, applied the conditioner and braided, put a plastic baggy over my hair and then went about my day cleaning. I didn't do any EVOO/ honey pre-treatment, just the water and conditioner. Rinsed and reapplied a small amount of conditioner and rinsed again.<br />
<br />
I undid a braid, finger detangled, applied Shea Moistures Curl Enhancing Smoothie, my homemade shea butter cream, tension blow dried on a cool setting (for super thick areas at the root of some braids I applied warm heat for a few seconds), and then pinned aside as I went through this same process with each of the 14 braids total.<br />
<br />
After drying, I went through my hair - now divided in 4 sections - and applied a small amount of the Yucca and Aloe hair milk, oiled my scalp (especially around the edges), pinned up in a very loose bun, applied my homemade hair jelly (mixture of curl activator and oils - I'll do a post on that), tied my hair down and went to bed.<br />
<br />
This morning, the bun was big a poofy and soft and luxurious! I kept the bun in for part of the morning while I handled my business this morning. I just undid the bun, and my hair is even more soft and bouncy and big than I thought. It feels great.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-3314008174727659102013-03-02T20:15:00.000-05:002013-03-02T20:15:00.973-05:007 Day Detox - Day 2Just wanted to share the Tuna, Sweet Corn and Jacket Potato meal that I just finished and that my son and I are now enjoying.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo-doOhv0bsTABsEupJdjJWNeOqE4bxnijPSw_s7dfPVpPfpZCkOVn0WyUnpEpaNXtmRQiprLKiS6_HIMPZgzSbOyMKceYO97ckW8bIXOJ9yRgg8PznLw_QJE4EQr-IY5ygItfcB0cjiGB/s1600/2013-03-02+20.04.42.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo-doOhv0bsTABsEupJdjJWNeOqE4bxnijPSw_s7dfPVpPfpZCkOVn0WyUnpEpaNXtmRQiprLKiS6_HIMPZgzSbOyMKceYO97ckW8bIXOJ9yRgg8PznLw_QJE4EQr-IY5ygItfcB0cjiGB/s320/2013-03-02+20.04.42.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Here's what I did:<br />
<ul>
<li>Baked potatoes in the over</li>
<li>Mixed 1 can of Tuna (water based) and a 1/2 cup of sweet corn.</li>
<li>Added 1 tbsp of yogurt</li>
</ul>
<br />Topped the tuna corn mixture onto a split baked potato, and it tastes delicious!<br />
<br />
I think I will be using yogurt instead of mayonnaise from now on in my tuna mixtures. Next time I will add the onions that I forgot to add.<br />
<br />
P.S. Just found out about a cable network called Veria Living. Whaaaattttt? I love it. And they have a website too! Check it out: <a href="http://www.veria.com/" target="_blank">http://www.veria.com/</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-74708173754173819262013-03-01T19:07:00.000-05:002013-03-01T19:07:10.284-05:007 Day Detox - Day 1I'm taking part in a 7-Day Detox and 3 week Low Carb diet with <a href="http://www.hangtightwmarc.com/" target="_blank">HangTight with MarcC</a> as part of my aforementioned Quest for Abs (and peace of mind too). I'm actually excited and look forward to seeing some major changes in my body. In addition to embarking in this Quest for Abs, I also have to get rid of any extra fat on my body to help with my back problems. If I drop 10-15 pounds, honestly, I am giddy at the relief that I expect to feel in my lower and middle back.<br />
<br />
Anyway, here is what I have done so far today in my Quest for Abs:<br />
<ul>
<li>Walking: 4 miles</li>
<li>Breakfast: Oatmeal</li>
<li>Snacks: Strawberry yogurt, 2 granola bars w/peanut butter, brown rice cakes, popcorn</li>
<li>Lunch: Homemade Vegetarian Lentil soup</li>
<li>Drink: Cranberry water (made from cranberry concentrate)</li>
</ul>
<br />
Although I have listed Chinese Stir Fry with Brown Rice as my dinner, I think I may go with a spinach shake since I had lunch so late.<br />
<br />
Also, you'll notice I have a lot of snacks there and it's because I realize I'm a grazer/ muncher. One of the biggest things I was concerned about upon embarking on this journey, is how was I going to replace my comfort food. I love popcorn (especially since I've sworn off the chocolate cake from my son's birthday, and peanut butter ice cream - and anyone who knows me knows I LOVE peanut butter, plus ice cream, maaaannnnn...). Anyway, I spent the past few days prepping for the detox by increasing my cranberry water intake, ceasing with the red wine (even though there is a glass amount left in the fridge), drinking green tea, but I knew at some point I was going to need a variety of snacks (I guess it's the Gemini in me). I figured popcorn was the way to go, but I had to find the right topping because I know I can't do popcorn with no topping. And after much research and searching for a healthy option that my taste buds would love - coconut oil walked into the building.<br />
<br />
I went to GNC and overpaid for 16 oz of coconut oil (this before finding out that my local fruit stand sells 12 oz for $4 after paying 3 times that for 16 oz. Not again!)<br />
<br />
Back to the story... I coated the popcorn kernels with a tbsp of coconut oil, popped in the microwave, and then I did something that is going to sound weird but tastes so good. I melted 1 tbsp of coconut oil and 1 tbsp of honey, drizzled it over the popcorn, and then sprinkled the popcorn with cinnamon.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-e6heFPyXfFQ/UTE7zytuCsI/AAAAAAAAAsk/ctq3yWT7qJ4/s1600/2013-03-01+18.36.14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-e6heFPyXfFQ/UTE7zytuCsI/AAAAAAAAAsk/ctq3yWT7qJ4/s1600/2013-03-01+18.36.14.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
I personally can't taste the cinnamon, but my son did, and he loved it! And so did I. I love the honey flavor on my popcorn - who knew! I am beyond ecstatic that I found a healthy popcorn topping alternative- and that was real hard when I had powdered cheddar staring me in the face as I drizzled the coconut oil/ honey mixture on my popcorn. I was nervous, thought it might taste like crap. I gambled and won!<br />
<br />
Stay tuned for other experimental recipes that I will be trying this month.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-20874104644444210592013-02-26T19:17:00.000-05:002013-02-26T19:17:07.428-05:0024-Minute Boxing WorkoutHere's a boxing workout that I do at home that I love.<br />
<a href="http://www.ivillage.com/24-minute-boxing-workout/4-a-142425" target="_blank">24-minute-boxing-workout</a><br />
<br />
<strong>Round 1: Warm up (6 minutes)</strong><br /><br />Alternate one minute of step touches with 30 seconds of jumping jacks for a total of 4 times each.<br />
<strong>How-to tips:</strong><br />
<ul>
<li>Step
touches: Tap your right toe lightly in front of your left, then your
left toe in front of your right. Swing your arms as you continue
alternating left and right taps. Move at a comfortable pace that
elevates your heart rate and quickens your breathing.</li>
<li>Jumping
jacks: Start with your feet together, arms at your sides. Jump with
your legs slightly wider than hip-width apart as you lift your arms up
to shoulder level. </li>
</ul>
<strong>Round 2: Punch (6 minutes)</strong><br />
Move continuously from drill to drill without any break in between.<br />
<em>Drill 1:</em> Alternate left and right punches 4 times, then alternate lefts and rights as fast as you can 8 times. (2 minutes)<br />
<em>Drill 2</em>: Alternate right and left punches 4 times, then alternate rights and lefts as fast as you can 8 times. (2 minutes)<br />
<em>Drill 3</em>: Alternate left and right punches in sets of 8 with a slight hesitation between sets. (2 minutes)<br />
<strong>How-to tips:</strong><br />
<ul>
<li>Start
by making a semitight fist by curling your fingers into your palms and
placing your thumbs on top of your index fingers '- not inside your
fists. Be sure to keep your fists aligned with your wrists as you punch
rather than slightly turned in or out.</li>
<li>Stand tall with abs
tightened and your feet shoulder-width apart, left foot forward, right
foot back. Keep your weight evenly distributed between your feet, and
lift your right heel up.</li>
<li>Raise your fists in front of your face, lower your chin and keep your elbows in tight to your middle.</li>
<li>To
throw a punch, thrust your right hip forward and pivot quickly on the
left heel. Extend your arm from the shoulder '- imagine it's an
extension of your back '- and take care not to lock out your elbow.</li>
<li>As
you strike out, keep your other hand up in front of your face and your
chin tucked. Return to the start and punch with the left.</li>
<li>When your arm returns from the punch, it should <a class="itxtnewhook itxthook" href="http://www.ivillage.com/24-minute-boxing-workout/4-a-142425#" id="itxthook1" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: none; border: 0px none transparent; display: inline; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><span class="itxtrst itxtrstspan itxtnowrap" id="itxthook1p"><span class="itxtrst itxtrstspan itxtnowrap itxtnewhookspan" id="itxthook1w" style="background-color: transparent; border-color: transparent transparent rgb(0, 204, 0); border-style: none none solid; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; color: #009900; font-size: 100%; font-weight: normal; padding: 0px 0px 1px ! important; text-decoration: underline ! important;">travel</span><img class="itxtrst itxtrstimg itxthookicon" id="itxthook1icon" src="http://images.intellitxt.com/ast/adTypes/icon1.png" style="margin-bottom: 0px!important; margin-left: 0px!important; margin-right: 0px!important; margin-top: 0px!important; padding-bottom: 0px!important; padding-left: 4px!important; padding-right: 0px!important; padding-top: 0px!important; vertical-align: baseline!important;" /></span></a> back along the same path with equal speed.</li>
<li>Fire
punches out as hard and fast as you're able. Aim to elevate your heart
rate and breathing and to work up a sweat. Exhale forcefully through
your mouth each time you throw a punch, and remember to use your core to
help power your movement.<br /> </li>
</ul>
<strong>Round 3: Jump rope (3 minutes)</strong><br /><br />Jump rope<br /><strong><br />How-to tips:</strong><br />
<ul>
<li>Hold an end of the rope in each hand and stand with your feet together in front of the rope line.</li>
<li>Bend
your elbows and hold your arms out to your sides at about hip level.
Spin the rope quickly and, as it approaches your toes, skip over it.</li>
<li>Stay low '- only jump an inch or so off the floor '- and when you land allow knees to bend slightly to help absorb impact.</li>
<li>The
rope is powered by the turn of the wrist ??'- not the entire arm. The
wrists are the motor, so to speak. Think of your legs as shock absorbers
and springs that push you up and off the ground.</li>
<li>When you
get into a comfortable rhythm, move into a "boxer's shuffle": Continue
spinning the rope and, as it approaches your toes, shift your weight
slightly to the left, move your left foot a small distance forward and
jump, again staying low and slightly bending knees on touchdown. On the
next spin, shift your weight right. </li>
</ul>
<strong>Round 4: Pump (6 minutes)</strong><br />
Do these five strength moves with a 15-second break between <a class="itxtnewhook itxthook" href="http://www.ivillage.com/24-minute-boxing-workout/4-a-142425#" id="itxthook2" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: transparent; background-image: none; border: 0px none transparent; display: inline; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><span class="itxtrst itxtrstspan itxtnowrap" id="itxthook2p"><span class="itxtrst itxtrstspan itxtnowrap itxtnewhookspan" id="itxthook2w" style="background-color: transparent; border-color: transparent transparent rgb(0, 204, 0); border-style: none none solid; border-width: 0px 0px 1px; color: #009900; font-size: 100%; font-weight: normal; padding: 0px 0px 1px ! important; text-decoration: underline ! important;">exercises</span><img class="itxtrst itxtrstimg itxthookicon" id="itxthook2icon" src="http://images.intellitxt.com/ast/adTypes/icon1.png" style="margin-bottom: 0px!important; margin-left: 0px!important; margin-right: 0px!important; margin-top: 0px!important; padding-bottom: 0px!important; padding-left: 4px!important; padding-right: 0px!important; padding-top: 0px!important; vertical-align: baseline!important;" /></span></a>.<br />
<strong>Boxer Twist:</strong>
Place a broomstick across your shoulders. Stand tall with your arms
draped over the stick. Keeping your abs tight, do tight, small twists
left and right. Exhale each time you twist to the side and inhale as you
move back toward the middle. Twist for 30 seconds, then rest briefly
and repeat.<br />
<strong>Last-Round Squats:</strong> Stand tall with
your feet slightly wider than hip-width apart, hands on hips. Bend your
knees until your thighs are parallel to the floor, then stand back up,
taking care not to lock your knees. Do 32 reps and hold the last rep in
the squat position for 20 seconds.<br />
<strong>Championship Push-Ups:</strong>
Get into a push-up position: Kneel on the floor with your legs together
and your hands placed slightly wider than shoulder-width apart. Shift
your weight forward so that you're balanced on your palms with your
thighs just above your knees. Bend your elbows to lower your body. When
your elbows are parallel to the floor, press back up to the start
without locking elbows. Do 8 reps, and on the last one, lower slowly,
taking 20 seconds to complete the rep.<br />
<strong>Heavyweight Dips:</strong>
Sit on the floor with your legs straight out, arms at your sides, palms
pressing into the floor and fingertips either pointing out to the side
or behind you, whichever is more comfortable. Lift your butt and legs up
so you're balanced on your palms and heels and your weight is supported
by your arms. Bend your elbows a few inches, and then straighten back
up. Do 8 reps, and on the last one, lower slowly, taking 20 seconds to
complete the rep.<br />
<strong>Contender Crunches:</strong> Lie face-up
with your hands under your butt and your abs pulled in tight. Lift your
legs 1 to 3 inches off the floor without allowing your lower back to
arch up. Holding this position, curl your head, neck and shoulders up
and in, hold a moment and lower back down. Repeat 8 times.<br />
<strong>Round 5: Cool Down (3 minutes)</strong><br /><br />Stretch out and cool down with these three flexibility enhancers.<br />
<strong>Million-Dollar Babies:</strong>
Stand tall and straighten your right arm across the center of your
body, placing your left palm behind your right elbow to create a stretch
through your right arm and shoulder. Hold 30 seconds and repeat with
the left arm.<br />
<strong>Rocky Thigh Stretch:</strong> Stand tall,
holding on to a chair with one hand for balance. Lift your right leg up
and bend your knee to move your heel up toward your buttocks. Gently
grasp your right toe in your free hand to create a stretch through your
right thigh. Hold for 30 seconds and repeat with the left leg.<br />
<strong>Olajide Back Extender:</strong>
Lie face-down with your elbows bent and your palms a few inches in
front of your shoulders and shoulder-width apart. Gently press up
through your palms to straighten your arms and arch your back as far as
you comfortably can. Hold for 60 seconds as the stretch spreads through
your abs and into the tops of your thighs.<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-68193199615979712512013-02-26T18:47:00.000-05:002013-02-26T19:02:38.452-05:00The Quest: Part 1 - AbsI have to be dramatic.<br />
<br />
I'm on a quest for defined abs.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQShOFXvkOsrkfhJt6PJG9rhThgf2yJXMH_sPRq8IQdHJGr0G-4fGloPxFPMQcU03q1FxnjCGMs3s7vubtKY7Q2tTT-CrtU2iq-04NyEq1-jUrlG2NjxkwKmf0B_LG_lEv00WulLqSB1RL/s1600/women-abs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQShOFXvkOsrkfhJt6PJG9rhThgf2yJXMH_sPRq8IQdHJGr0G-4fGloPxFPMQcU03q1FxnjCGMs3s7vubtKY7Q2tTT-CrtU2iq-04NyEq1-jUrlG2NjxkwKmf0B_LG_lEv00WulLqSB1RL/s320/women-abs.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">P.S. It was very difficult finding the perfect representation</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">for what I'm going for. I want abs, but I want to maintain my curves.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">This woman's body shape here is closest to mine, except she is toned</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">and I sadly, am not (for now).</span></div>
<br />
<br />
It's
nearing the end of February. I turn 38 near the end of May. I've stayed
within 10 pounds my weight and form since high school, but some things
have shifted... like my abdomen.<br />
<br />
I've always been an
active person. I played as a kid - let me clarify since today's kids
consider sitting around playing videos games as playing. I really played
as a kid: double dutch, hand ball, tag, bike riding, climbing (shit I
wasn't supposed to be climbing, if my mother only knew!). There was also running, volleyball, aerobics... and then I discovered dance (jazz, tap, ballet, African, Salsa). And then I got a gym membership, and trained with a kickboxing black belt. I have been a busy woman - no wonder I'm always tired.<br />
<br />
Well, this 37.85 year old body is acting the fool. Things are trying to hang out, go South - I don't even like the South, I'm a Northern Yankee thank-you-very-much! I've always had a nice shape, but there must be something about this age that I'm at where I am determined to get that 4-pack (not trying to be greedy) that has always alluded me, even when my belly was flat.<br />
<br />
So, I did something that I never do. I took photos of my body in my workout gear. It was not flattering. I was possibly (maybe not) going to post them in this entry... I think not. I'm going to save them for my big reveal, BUT I am printing them out and posting them in my work area (which is where I almost always am), as motivation to not just keep active - which is no problem for me - but to meet this physical goal.<br />
<br />
Off tangent for a moment: I stopped running over a month ago after my back went out and I couldn't walk for days. Those were some dark days, but I'm walking now. I haven't made it back to the track, and with my new work / school schedule, I'm going to have to do like I did when I first started running - do it on the weekend (Saturday and Sunday, 3 miles each day). One of the great things about my new schedule, though, is that I work 2 and from my daytime activity - 2 miles one way, so I'm getting in 4 miles of walking 4 days a week.<br />
<br />
In the meantime, I've taken up boxing again, as well as military interval training, and while that may make me strong, the goal is to tone, so I am taking part in the HangTight with MarC Feel Tight Diet Challenge for the month of March. It's involves a 7 day detox, and diet plan for the month of March. With the crazy schedule that I now have for myself with my various endeavors, I've decided to approach this as I would work - I've created a calendar that will tell me what I am to eat each day (if I don't do this, I fear with all the running around that I won't be successful - and I really think the key to getting that 4-pack is the food that I eat, which brings me to the one thing that I am going to miss the most... and no, it is not the peanut butter ice cream in the freezer.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXGf9bZR03FOpFolkJU78mn6djvqVI7hFVHXkhMlZHLdx0u4FUvBhhT-K2JibsOB-FwzCG3sF9vCb-yFfHF9CHyHVB5B7-JOGLXyOb-48I00hiEvTnp9Egkizu0jhaj6Qw2yAQxYWARwJ0/s1600/Red_Wine_Glass.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXGf9bZR03FOpFolkJU78mn6djvqVI7hFVHXkhMlZHLdx0u4FUvBhhT-K2JibsOB-FwzCG3sF9vCb-yFfHF9CHyHVB5B7-JOGLXyOb-48I00hiEvTnp9Egkizu0jhaj6Qw2yAQxYWARwJ0/s200/Red_Wine_Glass.jpg" width="106" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I actually want to cry. I have one last glass of wine left in the bottle, and then no more. I used to just reserve the wine for the weekends, but it's replaced the mild affection I was receiving after a hard day's work - still can't replace a hug or a kiss, but I did what I had to do. Anyway, tonight I will enjoy my last glass of wine for the month. And then I'll go back to once a week (Saturdays), or investigate alternatives that I will share on this blog.<br />
<br />
I'm also giving up the salt (chips, cashews). I already rarely eat red meat, so as an extra push, I'm going to become reacquainted with the egg plant and pursue vegetarian recipes, which I am very excited about since I love to cook.<br />
<br />
I'm going to be learning about vegetables beyond my limited scope, and increase my smoothie intake.<br />
<br />
When I have gotten to the point where I have comfortably transitioned into an even more healthy lifestyle, not only will I share the photos that I took today, I will take new ones of me in a bikini (and I haven't been in a bikini since I was 4).<br />
<br />
I just want to get rid of fat that I don't need, and I think a 15 pound decrease from my 153 lb frame would be beneficial for my physical goals, including taking significant pressure off my back. I could go on and on, but let me just list some initial goals so I can get this started. <br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Get into a bikini (and look good in it) by May 23 - my birthday</li>
<li>Lose 10 lbs by May 23</li>
<li>Lose a total of 15 lbs, by July 4</li>
<li>4-pack abs by May 23 (doesn't have to be chiseled, but if I flex, I want to see some indentation</li>
<li>Eat a 75% vegetarian diet - which would become the norm - by May 23</li>
<li>Be able to run 5 miles in 30 minutes by May 23</li>
<li>Be able to do a yoga head stand by May 23</li>
</ul>
<br />
That's it for the first part of this lifestyle journey. I'm working on so many wonderful things in my life - my emotions, business, and more, and I feel like it is time to get everything in sync so that I can be successful across the board. It's going to be hard especially because I already don't eat a lot of things that I already don't eat, BUT there is always room to do better.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-15236587477197432112012-12-29T10:36:00.000-05:002012-12-29T10:37:25.468-05:00Cyber Mean GirlsI just wanted to write about this ridiculous trend in the online world, specifically on hair blogs that feed into the 'crabs in a barrel' mentality that black folks seem to constantly keep alive (I here I thought we were supposed to be keeping hope alive): mean girls.<br />
<br />
I won't even dare to call them women because they seriously act like the mean girls in middle school who thought they were the shit because they have boobs while the rest of us are searching for ours like a game of Where's Waldo.<br />
<br />
The internet is such an amazing tool. We can find information instead of having to purchase a set of Britannica Encyclopedias, we can video chat, we can shop 24 hours, we can build our own websites... and we can talk a lot of shit!<br />
<br />
Black women, my sisters (from another mother and father), my friends, ladies...can we please stop with the constant bashing of each other? What happened to being able to state one's opinion without being an asshole in one's method. What happened to class?<br />
<br />
I check some hair blogs (less than I have in the past as a result of this) and the comments sections are horrendous. Everyone thinks there's an expert. Everyone's way is the right way (truth: it may be the right way for them, but who knows if it's the right way for someone else). Everyone is a style expert. And these chicks who are stuck on the whole hair typing system, for the love of all that is holy - trust me, there are more important things out there than arguing on the internet with a bunch of strangers, about someone claiming to be a 4A when they're really a 4C. And then there are the wannabe web designers and editors who attempt to blast webmasters for what they feel the website that they have willingly visited is lacking. As someone building a web business myself, I welcome feedback and suggestions, but don't scold me because I can't read your mind about what colors and fonts you would have preferred on MY website (seriously, now I know why men get frustrated with us with the whole expecting someone else to read our minds bullshit). Ladies, there is a difference between a suggestion, and a scolding.<br />
<br />
The comments section has taken a lot of joy out of me reading some blogs, or I just skip it all together, which is sad because on of the greatest things about the internet is the interactive nature of it. I don't want to correspond with a computer - I want to communicate with people, but somewhere along the way some people have gotten it into their heads that corresponding electronically exempts them from all kinds of maturity and class that I hope our parents have tried to instill in us while they were raising us. Or maybe folks use the anonimity of the internet to dump on others to make themselves feel better and powerful (falsely, by the way) because they've had a shitty day (but that's a whole other blog entry). Either way, keep your 'crazy', your 'nasty', your 'funkiness' to yourself, pleas, and let's seriously behave as ladies, and not act like those fake ass 'Housewives' we see on television. <br />
<br />
(I did say please!)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-51492610126429573842012-12-08T20:12:00.001-05:002012-12-08T20:13:11.038-05:00Proof I haven't completely lost myselfThis kid is my hero. I love him. I don't know him, but I love him.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mnbasketballhub.com/news_article/show/199659" target="_blank">Life's dream fulfilled in 24 seconds: A Holy Angels team manager with cerebral palsy got his wish to play Wednesday night.</a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdQOlvkqJ7GXf4M5JjeLvxIIcVWVG8Sp1njvjcJOdP-UUMwNtNHRA6JtviofBCNhHTdYwXeKqrcgPfiW80VxE8Z-hoj-_PwBGbzSBhxKjvoIhtx_1LRjrb9MhUo1MDAzCZai1lelgw-zdG/s1600/9prep1206gal_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdQOlvkqJ7GXf4M5JjeLvxIIcVWVG8Sp1njvjcJOdP-UUMwNtNHRA6JtviofBCNhHTdYwXeKqrcgPfiW80VxE8Z-hoj-_PwBGbzSBhxKjvoIhtx_1LRjrb9MhUo1MDAzCZai1lelgw-zdG/s400/9prep1206gal_large.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-38369008290688252402012-12-08T15:27:00.002-05:002012-12-08T15:28:58.092-05:00Physical Therapy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix-QQdQwUi-ukOkHbQ2UmNNtKLNn2AMaKypT-ub8xhsZiAVhp749FdpwzbrClHb7VRyA6o_W3dJTMqIJ4A8s070RxeNfZEfW1khnkros1HXKA8IGlinOuOf1XjItr1rKZ5K7lOjT6ulhHe/s1600/spinemri.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix-QQdQwUi-ukOkHbQ2UmNNtKLNn2AMaKypT-ub8xhsZiAVhp749FdpwzbrClHb7VRyA6o_W3dJTMqIJ4A8s070RxeNfZEfW1khnkros1HXKA8IGlinOuOf1XjItr1rKZ5K7lOjT6ulhHe/s1600/spinemri.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><i>Note: this isn't my MRI scan</i></b></span></div>
<br />
I recently received the results of the second MRI I had as a result of the car accident on October 15.<br />
<br />
<i>Just to back track a bit - on April 15, 1998 I was hit by a NYC taxi. I was crossing the street on Third Avenue and 22nd Street, one block from the main building of my school (School of Visual Arts, SVA stand up!). I had the light in my favor to cross, so I did. A taxi was making a left turn from 22nd Street onto Third Avenue... and he hit me. Fast forward past neck and back braces, being bedridden for almost 2 months, the threat of not finishing my work in time to graduate (thank God my degree focus was on screenwriting and not production - you can type while on your back I learned), many years of chronic back and neck pain, tough pregnancy, having to train my son not to hug me too tight because at any moment he can throw my back out, being hit from behind (by my sister-in-law, in Virginia) and so on and so forth, and we come to October 15, 2012.</i><br />
<br />
So according to Dr. K (he says to call him that because his Polish name is very difficult to pronounce... I tell him I have a difficult name too and make it a point to learn people's names correctly, he insists I call him Dr. K... ok, anyway...), Dr. K tells me a few weeks ago that my first MRI that my neck is herniated between the c-5 and c6 bones, and most recently in my lower back, the area between the 4th and 5th discs are bulging and the L-5 disc is herniated (and not only re-injured but in worse condition than made from the first time I was hit).<br />
<br />
Luck for me at the time back then, and I guess now as well, I was someone who always worked out. And once I'd first been injured back in 1998 and went through intense physical therapy, that treatment stayed with me all these years. It was during that period of time that I was introduced to the exercise ball and exercise bands. I was already into fitness after being active in sports as a kid, and dancer in high school. Most recently, I'd become a runner, which proved to be one of the best exercises for my body and my mind. And then October 15, 2012 happened, and I haven't run since. 50% of the reason is because the therapist said not to, but since I'm stubborn and know my body (at least I think I do most of the time), I had plan to run anyway. I haven't. Depression and loneliness set in and my will to do it (and I have gotten dressed many times in an attempt to), hasn't been there (so you know I'm made that I let my mental shit take running away from me, or to be really real, I gave it away, like other things in life. Anyway...)<br />
<br />
What Dr. K said Friday kinda made me mad. I've been wasting away (I'm sure it's not really as dramatic as I make it sound, but it's how I feel) for the past 2 months especially. I'm still kind of strong, but not as strong as I usually am, and I know this physical weakness has enhanced the emotional weakness that I'd been feeling. So I made the decision to get moving again. During a spirited conversation with my sister, who practically yelled "why won't they do back surgery now!!!????", I proclaimed that I would take over my own well being and not help the degeneration of my spine along.<br />
<br />
Now, anyone who really knows me - like who's been to my apartment and seen my stuff - knows that I have what some have labelled a mini gym in my small apartment. Everything from a boxing heavy bag (as featured in a previous post) to a bike to ride the trails, to roller blades, hand weights, yoga stuff, Pilates stuff, workout stuff for the Wii, DVDs, CDs, books... yeah (they didn't call me gym rat for nothing). And on top of the supplements and nasty health concoctions that I got used to making and ingesting - there really is no excuse. But I did go out and get a couple new Yoga DVDs (one by Jillian Michaels called <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Jillian-Michaels-Yoga-Meltdown/dp/B0031XYLWG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354996905&sr=8-1&keywords=Yoga+Meltdown" target="_blank">Yoga Meltdown</a> (she scares me), which is for when I get to the point where I feel my stamina has increased, and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Element-Yoga-Stress-Relief-Flexibility/dp/B00429C1W0/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1354996953&sr=1-1&keywords=Yoga+for+Stress+Relief+and+Flexibility" target="_blank">Yoga for Stress Relief and Flexibility</a>, something we all know I need like yesterday.<br />
<br />
So this morning I woke up, depressed (which 'shame on me' since there's nothing depressing about waking up). Didn't go to the Parent Association meeting (don't wanna hear why the school's grade keeps going down, just not in the mood - talk about a hook and reel sale), and honestly had the intention to be productive, but not the will to. Shed some tears, finished last night's beer (I know, that was a really really bad thing to do), buried my head under several pillows, read through a novel, scolded myself, told myself I was great, told myself I wasn't so great, thought about Grandma, thought about if I had another child, if I was lucky to even live a long life, it still wouldn't be enough time to see my child with his or her children... basically buggin out this morning. And then I thought about my back pain and rolled myself - literally - out of the bed. Did a little cleaning, whipped out the Jasmin essential oil, lit up the diffuser, dusted off the yoga mat, dimmed the lights, threw on a sports bra and popped in the Yoga for Stress Relief and Flexibility DVD - on the surround sound system so I would feel like the heifer was in the room with me. I did 73 minutes of yoga (there are 2 programs, one for flexibility - ouch - and the other for stress relief), and I have to say that mojo woke my spirit up. I feel like parts of me that haven't gotten air for a long time, took a deep breath. It doesn't mean I'm out of the woods yet, physically or emotionally, but I did remind myself not just that I lived, but that I'm alive. There is still a lot of pain here, but some relief, and a bit of fire as well as these words hit me in the middle of a stretch that used to be easy to me: Success is the best revenge.<br />
<br />
It's what I got for now. Sure 'do it for yourself' is a great one to, but to the thieves, the witches, peek-a-boo, haters and spiritual vampires out there, I just keep thinking 'get ready to hear 'check mate bitch' because SUCCESS IS THE BEST REVENGE.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Honorable mention for any back pain suffers out there: check out the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Treat-Your-Back-Without-Surgery/dp/0897933729/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354997887&sr=8-1&keywords=Treat+Your+Back+Without+Surgery%3A+The+Best+Nonsurgical+Alternatives+for+Eliminating+Back+and+Neck+Pain" target="_blank"><i>Treat Your Back Without Surgery: The Best Nonsurgical Alternatives for Eliminating Back and Neck Pain</i></a> - I picked that little diddy up from one of Barnes and Nobles discount book racks a couple of years ago. It was a great purchase and the info is very helpful.</span><br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-82714646559695411502012-12-05T15:30:00.000-05:002012-12-05T15:31:31.609-05:00Homemade Facial Scrub RecipeHere's a quick recipe that I've been making for a couple months now. It clears my skin better than any store bought medicated cream (which kinda pisses me off if you think about all of the money I've spent over the past 20 years of fighting acne).<br />
<br />
Ingredients:<br />
<ul>
<li>water</li>
<li>niacin (antioxidant that helps fight acne, inflammation, sagging skin, and dull skin tone)</li>
<li>aspirin (salicylic acid )</li>
</ul>
<br />
Tools<br />
<ul>
<li>saucepan</li>
<li>tea cup</li>
<li>spoon</li>
<li>generic condiment container</li>
</ul>
<b>NOTE:</b> Do not use this recipe if you are allergic to aspirin. Even though you're not swallowing an aspirin in this case, aspirin still gets into your blood stream while using it as a topical treatment.<br />
<br />
For this recipe we will concentrate on creating enough scrub to fill a small condiment container (I purchased a set of 10 from my local <i>Deals</i> store, but you can use anything that has a cover to store the scrub)<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWN0QfGAuGKzfm-HodQ0Hxt4bh_V_vdG54jxCF6CU31rYsX4S_YlCum5oASy_1RZSZEDcdVz3yUIqyryLLjvW0bisaAhmLRwAlmujotBicJIx_fQQ8eUznRnnM7cMIWzil6eL0LhHkgqM_/s1600/2012-11-24+22.32.26.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWN0QfGAuGKzfm-HodQ0Hxt4bh_V_vdG54jxCF6CU31rYsX4S_YlCum5oASy_1RZSZEDcdVz3yUIqyryLLjvW0bisaAhmLRwAlmujotBicJIx_fQQ8eUznRnnM7cMIWzil6eL0LhHkgqM_/s200/2012-11-24+22.32.26.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Bring a few ounces of water to a boil in a saucepan.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs84trbbDTm-zeI2crhgEFPgAUFpUb3gGDxKu0WvbRGjn3pxtTIN-fi_gQ3URRgjaEgOKi_apI0Dq8U18zJxPoSgCtHoe2Mbnha_oMaKPYzDJoURB8-kMr8zPG8Fq9JvG2nAwHd4qjJ9cN/s1600/2012-11-24+22.32.06.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs84trbbDTm-zeI2crhgEFPgAUFpUb3gGDxKu0WvbRGjn3pxtTIN-fi_gQ3URRgjaEgOKi_apI0Dq8U18zJxPoSgCtHoe2Mbnha_oMaKPYzDJoURB8-kMr8zPG8Fq9JvG2nAwHd4qjJ9cN/s200/2012-11-24+22.32.06.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Crush 5 Niacin and 3-4 Aspirin pills in a mortar and place in tea cup.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi40qj-oNfKLsWXNPdB3lhIFLDaR0oq3cFxLVF8GbwOGhHkUiLz_yHJXPhystegvVlfMK8VylsxYlFQPe-c_qz_sOoqWjhRaYwzDXEOuuqPW9FDsXTpWWY60Bbc__rbV9tvhJOAmeKCJAWG/s1600/2012-11-24+22.32.50.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi40qj-oNfKLsWXNPdB3lhIFLDaR0oq3cFxLVF8GbwOGhHkUiLz_yHJXPhystegvVlfMK8VylsxYlFQPe-c_qz_sOoqWjhRaYwzDXEOuuqPW9FDsXTpWWY60Bbc__rbV9tvhJOAmeKCJAWG/s200/2012-11-24+22.32.50.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
Add a little bit of the boiling water to the crushed pills and start stirring.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigKsUMs80jiFmzQ0xVESSQKmZqgfuqldHKxoSoSM8WCcQLj5NogS3AnVl9Ogvc6L5K8XBRfl1HsiwOm4IiH2icUjQ08utCl0OESL0cglI_Z5CMhrQ_k61Ybztg_4kIEB0UfpExxgTxwMKO/s1600/2012-11-24+22.34.36.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigKsUMs80jiFmzQ0xVESSQKmZqgfuqldHKxoSoSM8WCcQLj5NogS3AnVl9Ogvc6L5K8XBRfl1HsiwOm4IiH2icUjQ08utCl0OESL0cglI_Z5CMhrQ_k61Ybztg_4kIEB0UfpExxgTxwMKO/s200/2012-11-24+22.34.36.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
When the water is first added, it should be of a loose, soupy consistency. Keep stirring and it will get thicker. I prefer to get it to the consistency of snot (sorry, there's no pretty word for snot).<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizoB9SkcwTm5yehsL4YvbErGcoyMKdKXR3lBnlKwVeVPc6BGfQwzASbM92fyQXfIFWdgL1S3Tocbb6erioI0_CxypWM8GsWu3VG0j9LmvPwjZz417gmeRfQgCAL1dkII0kz1QlCpWCFrdP/s1600/2012-11-24+22.36.02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizoB9SkcwTm5yehsL4YvbErGcoyMKdKXR3lBnlKwVeVPc6BGfQwzASbM92fyQXfIFWdgL1S3Tocbb6erioI0_CxypWM8GsWu3VG0j9LmvPwjZz417gmeRfQgCAL1dkII0kz1QlCpWCFrdP/s200/2012-11-24+22.36.02.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
Store the finished product in a small, generic condiment container.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiyht-BeJpz5BrDY-uFvZAdnP_-_JDr4YddY02uruYT1aLbigPOlvb-pMRPuJ5Moe_WbWR5pdxUcs4cyL9NwadK_r24PPXJf-D4AL7MQWw0ywrxeCkg9bnA9YV5GlPRmX-Bnw4BgQ3kY1h/s1600/2012-11-24+22.36.17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiyht-BeJpz5BrDY-uFvZAdnP_-_JDr4YddY02uruYT1aLbigPOlvb-pMRPuJ5Moe_WbWR5pdxUcs4cyL9NwadK_r24PPXJf-D4AL7MQWw0ywrxeCkg9bnA9YV5GlPRmX-Bnw4BgQ3kY1h/s200/2012-11-24+22.36.17.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
Cover and use at will. Note that not only do I and my son (who is starting to go through puberty) use this as a scrub, we also use this as an overnight spot treatment. This mixture can wipe out the most serious of pimples in 2-3 days, and fades scarring better than any over the counter product that I have every purchased.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Next up, I'm going to change up the recipe a bit by adding MSM and aloe juice. Stay tuned.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-81441308628964167122012-12-05T14:59:00.000-05:002012-12-07T08:24:56.484-05:00Excuses, ExcusesThis amateur blogger has some. And I have spent the better part of the past 2 months scolding myself for them.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Lost my job - check</li>
<li>Lost the only man I cared about in over a decade - check (or more like he 'checked out')</li>
<li>(Almost) lost life in car accident - check (but thank God we didn't)</li>
<li>Lost a little bit of my mind watching a car come at us and wondering for a split second how to save my son - check </li>
<li>Lost car - check</li>
<li>Identity stolen and used to purchase almost $2400 of electronics</li>
<li>ID thief requested credit increase in my name (was denied, thank God!) </li>
<li>Lost sleep - check</li>
<li>Lost peace of mind - check</li>
<li>Lost confidence - check</li>
</ul>
I'm all checked out and wondering how to get it back because there is a part of me that believes that this isn't the end. I can get a job, get a bigger more comfortable place to live, have the creative life I crave, maybe even find love again and (gasp) get married and have at least another child, sleep peacefully, eat food without immediately feeling the intense need to puke it up, and more.<br />
<br />
On the flip side, there is that louder, annoying, screechy shrew of a voice that says 'your done... just be glad to find a job doing anything and forget about whatever extra you had planned for your life.' I hate that bitch. And it is that hate for that shrew that pushes me to not fully check out. But I have been left to wonder what is going on with me that I have such a difficult time pulling it together? Surely, I've been through upheavals before - some pretty bad shit too. Sure, I'm older and maybe a little bit slower, but still... my resolve shouldn't be slower. What's up with that? I truly had no idea, and so I hid in a cave, communicating with only a few people while I tried to sort it all out. I came out of my cave a bit this week and reconnected with friends (brief chats) and something one woman said to me clicked when I tried to explain why I couldn't handle engaging with everyone, and why driving scares me so much now, and why I can't eat without getting a stomach ache, or why I'm just so damn tired all the time.<br />
<br />
She said "you've experienced trauma, it's going to take time to get over all of the things that have happened over the past 5 months."<br />
<br />
Ok, I already knew I'd been through a lot these past few months, but in my mind I immediately went into fix-mode, not allowing myself to really digest the impact of the things that have happened. I even remember saying to myself "take it on the chin and keep going." And while that sounds great for Rocky in part 9 of the movie series, for real people, that's not necessarily a good thing.<br />
<br />
Trauma.<br />
<br />
Why haven't I been able allow myself to accept that I experienced one trauma after another?<br />
<br />
I have this habit of thinking that as long as you don't stop moving, the enemy hasn't won. Interestingly, I don't even have to wait for the enemy to take me out since I manage to do it to myself by literally running myself into the ground. And let me tell you, there is no glory in that. Putting "she worked herself to death" on my tombstone is not cute. And so here I am now, with at least 10 drafts of blog entries I've yet to publish, a website that I stopped building right after the car accident, now almost 2 months ago... walking in constant fear of rejection from a job... not even wanting to put myself in a situation where I could be rejected by a man...this ole girl is exhausted. And I surrender. The mask is gone... the act is over. Make no mistake, I'm not sad, just utterly confused and exhausted. I see the good for other people, and need to get back to seeing and believing it for myself.<br />
<br />
Someone called me a 'worker bee' yesterday. Worker bee for someone else's goals, someone else's needs. That didn't make me feel good, but it did spark a little rebellious something in me, and so here I sit with my hands cradling that spark against the harsh cold wind out there, trying to keep it going, and GROWING so that it returns to the blaze it once was. Wish me luck... and don't blow on my flame, lol!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-58016354320576118782012-10-17T18:54:00.001-04:002012-10-17T18:54:31.554-04:002 Squirrels tried to jack me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE7IUEd96doNm8HYPqQmO4anUuA0giIEsKsWxc6YrcxIgHKGDGyIqmX4-dYNGG15DJt4EQGEnsNSsPH7HuGW9vDvj45iXyWHppLXNyaf0UZ9V2l7_Z_3lBrTSr7NV25U-yMjGvnWMXsFgv/s1600/evil-squirrel.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE7IUEd96doNm8HYPqQmO4anUuA0giIEsKsWxc6YrcxIgHKGDGyIqmX4-dYNGG15DJt4EQGEnsNSsPH7HuGW9vDvj45iXyWHppLXNyaf0UZ9V2l7_Z_3lBrTSr7NV25U-yMjGvnWMXsFgv/s1600/evil-squirrel.gif" /></a></div>
<br />
Seriously, I wasn't even trying to be all Jim Jarmusch with the title of this post - 2 squirrels tried to jack me, in Crotona Park today while I tried to eat pizza while pondering the direction of my life.<br />
<br />
There I was, minding my business, already accepting the fact that Monday's car collision totaled my car, feeling the aches in my body, hoping the -ish don't get worse, thinking about the fact that I have to start buying MetroCards again and learning bus and train schedules, calculating the additional time it would take for me to complete those joyful ten-minute drives and the possibility of paying for taxi service on occasion...and then smiling - like crazy people in a park sometimes do - because, even though I didn't want to, even after I just spent hundreds of dollars on the car for some "minor" repairs, even though I know I am going to have to lay Kyle Reece to rest (that was the name of my car... note to self: name your car after characters who live, bump bravery and saving Sarah Connor!)... even though all this shit is happening right now... I don't know... I mean, I'm alive. My son is alive. My credit score is going down for the firs time in 10 years, but I'm alive. And that made me even happier than I was before the accident.<br />
<br />
So I decided to walk across the Bronx - not exaggerating - and try to figure out if I was crazy for being so happy... did I actually die like all those people in <i>Lost</i>, did I accidentally inhale something that messed with the chemicals in my brain, what? Because I was walking- no, "almost" strutting like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, taking deep breaths, looking around... dude, I was even walking slow and not at that normal New York Hustle pace. I think I finally let the man go in my heart, I'm thinking about vanilla candles, Grandma (that thought actually made me almost cry), the fact that my mom actually showed up... just feeling overwhelmed and relived at the same time. I don't know what that is.<br />
<br />
And so I decided, since I was walking in the path of my son's school, that I would buy a pizza, surprise him, and we could sit in the part together and eat it and enjoy the nice Fall season weather. Well, what had happened was, I got to the park, which is across the street from the school, about 10 minutes early. I start on slice number one (these are small slices, and I haven't eaten since Monday). Then I get into slice 2, and I hear this weird like twitching noise, now I know "twitching" is an action and not a noise, but this bold, crazy, probably rabies-filled squirrel was twitching, and I heard him (and before I even saw him). It was like the <i>Jaws</i> music (you know Roy Schieder heard the music too). So I'm thinking to myself, 'don't make any sudden moves because you don't know where this thing that is making the noise is, but don't be a punk either and sit there in broad daylight, near a street full of traffic, and get got by no damn squirrel either!<br />
<br />
I turn my head to the left. No squirrel. I turn it to the right. No squirrel. I look straight ahead, but the park bench is blocking, so I raise up a bit, and there he is. And as soon as he sees that I see him seeing me, unlike a roach who scatters when the lights come on, this joker hopped up onto the bench where I was sitting and was literally eyeballing my box of pizza!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
So, I said (yes, out loud), "Oh hell no. I know you not trying to get at my pizza." And what does the little bugger do? He comes at me. I couldn't believe it. So now, I gotta fight a squirrel, but I'm thinking no one in a passenger car or truck driving by is going to see me fighting a squirrel. They're going to see a women fighting a park bench. And I am too young to be that woman just yet. So I think fast. I think sharp tone, loud noise, hit the bench. He stops, but he doesn't run back, and that's when I do the Bruce Lee head tilt. I start stomping, and hitting the bench, and yelling, yes, at a damn squirrel.<br />
<br />
Then I noticed people starting to walk by, so I decided to move to a different park bench that was further from the tree and closer to the street. I relax. I'm finishing up that second slice of pizza. Then I hear the twitching again, but I see my old nemisis still on the park bench, but this time the twitching is closer. Another damn squirrel is rushing me! For my pizza!<br />
<br />
And at that point I didn't care who heard or saw me. I yelled at the squirrels. If I had something to throw at them I would have. I couldn't believe they would disrespect me by trying to take my pizza. And then I came back down to Earth and conceded use of the park bench to them. I didn't want to explain to cops that the squirrels were trying to get me. So I picked up my pizza box, and left. Quickly!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3342523490874635389.post-22698600505998879832012-10-14T18:47:00.000-04:002012-10-14T18:47:06.243-04:00The Hard Truth about Self Reflection<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikU1dyoCS8oGDMUTkbcYEWD0_emeWpMtPw5qhyW38wBEsA7b_WYWZGMGEs9BHYHzidTyTg0j1d5yMJL-jiIr3Asb_zbukRch9CnnBWvvccldzgAcG6jP-tA0rC46u5jIH9w75sm1HY5mOE/s1600/Framed_Mirror.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikU1dyoCS8oGDMUTkbcYEWD0_emeWpMtPw5qhyW38wBEsA7b_WYWZGMGEs9BHYHzidTyTg0j1d5yMJL-jiIr3Asb_zbukRch9CnnBWvvccldzgAcG6jP-tA0rC46u5jIH9w75sm1HY5mOE/s320/Framed_Mirror.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Mirror Mirror on the wall, WTF is my problem?</i></div>
<br />
We all have those moments in life when we're forced to stop and look in the mirror. Really look in the mirror, and I have to say from experience, I'm not always liking what I see. AND maybe something that I saw 10 years ago, isn't as attractive now which is in the top 5 of ultimate mind fucks if you ask me.<br />
<br />
One of the hardest things I've found in my latest journey, is looking at myself and being open enough with myself to say 'that ain't cute. Change that now please.' I've been doing that a lot lately, and while it can sometimes be so painful to endure - giving yourself an overdue ass whooping - I will say, I think, I hope, that all of this painful self reflection is for the better, I mean it has to be, right?<br />
<br />
I won't go into my entire laundry list of things, but one of the things I know I have to work on (and I think I've made a lot of strides with even in just the past 2 weeks) is that I am way too hard, on myself and other people. I think there are a lot of instances where I lack the patience. With myself I'm used to "oh, you want me to do something... ok, I'll get right on it" and I do, get right on it. Why? Because I said I would. Why? Because I don't want to go back on my word. Even when I have 20 million other things on my 'to do' list? Yes. But why? Because I'm fucking nutcase!<br />
<br />
And that's a pleasant self-dialogue.<br />
<br />
With other people, it's pretty much the same thing but with a twist, and I've found that because other people aren't as insane as I am - you know, dropping what they're doing to do something else, because why would someone want to finish one thing before starting something else? I've found that I am more apt to not trust the word of another person because they are not as willing to drive themselves insane like I am. Like I was.<br />
<br />
Man, I'm so chill about some things now you'd think I was high, and I have never smoked a blunt in my life (true story...would you believe I told someone that and they didn't believe me? It's funny), but trust, it is/ was not an easy destination to reach. I equate it to the childbirth journey...4 days of labor pains, 11 hours on the table...no epidural...a room full of medical students...nurses who want to tell me to lay down when I want to sit up (and I do)...a pain in a nether region that is so great that there honestly are no words to describe (unless feeling link a dragon is trying to escape the bowels of hell through your entire middle region is sufficient)...pushing that little bugger out because he's taking too long... and then passing out... that's why this period of self-reflection has felt like. And that was the PG version.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0