Tuesday, August 27, 2013

The "D" Word

I have to go on a diet.

There, I said it. It needed to be said, and now it has to be done.

Even though I just ran my first 5K race, and am ready for another, I have gained weight. Physical and emotional weight.

Side Note: I am sipping on a green smoothie as I type this entry. I'll provide the recipe and source at the end.

I gained 10 pounds. In the past month. All of this is a result of stress.

Worrying about finding a job, earning money, my son growing out of all of this clothes therefore intensifying my need for a job to earn more money to purchase more clothes and shoes for him...I have been on emotional overload.

It hasn't all been bad. I finally shot (most of) my short film, and while very exhausting, it was a great experience. I did run the aforementioned 5K race - my first one, in 37 minutes and 14 seconds. My hair grew a lot. I got new funky glasses. I'm alive. But on the flip side, I stressed myself out so badly that my cycle came TWICE this month! Hear that? I had it. It ended. A week passed. AND I GOT IT AGAIN! For someone who has fibroid, is close to 40, and have no romantic prospects at this time to start and build a relationship that would result in having a baby as opposed to getting knocked. I've been snacking at night - definitely not a good look - I'm craving physical stimulation other than running, and I am worried about NYC's Mayoral race. I slouch (I can't believe I am constantly slouching!), and I have a gut (WTF - and it's not even from alcohol - at least I would be like "ok, I get it" but now I feel like I should have drank if I was going to end up with a gut!). 10 pounds!

My mind is cluttered, and with no sense of direction. I would literally pay the scarecrow to point in several directions so I can find my way out of this. AND my 20th high school reunion is in a month and 2 weeks. If I'm not careful, my metabolism can spiral down to non-existent and I could end up gaining 20 pounds in one month. I know that is a bit of an over-exaggeration, but it's how I'm feeling these days.

So I am dieting. I am doing that thing that women do in movies when they Rocky it out, but this isn't actually about the reunion, it's about how I avoid looking in the mirror too long to avoid what I am turning into. And I make sure to keep my eyes up. I got into one of my favorite dresses last week, and I looked great, and I didn't have to suck my gut in the whole time I wore it, but I can't say the same for some of my pants. Or other dresses. Or shirts. And as a result I am going to health smoothie route to help clear my mind and my colon while I figure out my next move. God help me, and wish me luck!

Smoothie Recipe from SmoothieWeb.com:

Healthy Green Coconut Smoothie

It literally looks like this!
  • 2 bananas, frozen
  • 2 HUGE handfuls spinach (you won’t even taste it)
  • 1 cup milk (almond or soy is even better than moo juice)
  • 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1 tablespoon coconut oil
Add all ingredients into a blender. Blend until mixed. Serve in tall glasses and enjoy.
Recipe submitted by Sierra, Rolla, MO

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