My son and I just spent the Thanksgiving holiday with the family of a friend of mine who I know from work, and the past few days just confirms what I've always believed, which is family is all relative.
To be welcomed into a family of people whom you've never met, and even better for me, to see my son embraced so lovingly (especially since he was a bit nervous beforehand) is something that any person would want and cherish should they be blessed to have such an experience. I have not necessarily given up on one day having the big family dinner with my own blood relatives, but I live in the hear and now and I am not going to waste my time holding my breath, or tricking myself into believing that I can break bread with a 10 ton pound gorilla in the room. And since I also have no desire to wallow in any type of self pity with regard to our 'family' situation, I will continue to go toward a place where love is being offered and where I can return it as well. Family is not supposed to keep score. Family is not supposed to vilify. Family is not supposed to take sides. Family is not supposed to ostracize as if we were in a high school cafeteria trying to figure out which table to sit at. Family does not always have to agree, but family is supposed to be about respect - in both directions. Non of this do as I say not as I do - grown ups should be held just as accountable for their actions as we do the children. Family is the one place where one should be within a hair's reach of "fair."'m still supposed to be one of the kids. Sure, with a bit more life experience, and maybe I should be setting some life examples for the others to be inspired by and maybe even follow to some degree, but I am still one of the kids. I get tired of having to remind people of this Anyway, going off on a tangent, sitting under the hair dryer will 500 rollers in my hair, the heat is burning my neck a little and this blog entry has no real structure, but at the end of the day, it's all in the title. You can't choose your family, but actually you can :)