Saturday, April 2, 2011

Same goal, different approach

Although I am not one of those women who dreads aging, I will admit to disliking a lot of the physical changes that I have noticed this past year.  The metabolism seems to be slowing down a bit, the energy level is damn near non-existent at times, there are these 10 pounds that don't seem to want to leave and I haven't seen an ab muscle in a while.  And I have been so resistant to go the starvation route because I love food dammit (grew up in a household with parents from the Caribbean and the South - what do you think!  Can anyone say barbecue chicken with mashed potatoes and plantains with a side of cornbread?), but I almost went there.  I almost decided to deprive myself in an attempt to see if I had any control over my body and whether I could change it (aside from the new tattoo on my back, lol! I'll share that experience another day!).  I really want to lose 15 pounds before that 'middle-age woman weight' starts knocking at my door, so my goal has been to get rid of whatever fat I got on a seemingly trim body (according to the opinions of others, but according to the person who sees me naked everyday - I beg to differ).  And let me tell this to the world - the shit is hard.  Damn hard!  I mean, when I start thinking about just drinking water all day, there's a problem!  Last summer I drank my shakes for breakfast, laid off the heavy food, worked out damn near every morning before work, and not a damn thing happened except I didn't get winded running up the stairs of the subway station (not saying that isn't a great thing, but no ab muscles?  Not even one?).

Anyway, I visited my local GNC, stocked up on my Total Lean Shake (meal replacement) mix, and perused the diet pill section when a store rep asks if she could help me.  And the floodgates otherwise known as my mouth opened and poured freely.  Things like "I tried everything" and "that shit don't work" to "I'm just going to eat vitamins" to "is asking to lose even 10 pounds too damn much" came out.  Somewhere in between, we had an actual conversation and established a plan. And here it is.

Food intake:
Breakfast - Lean shake
Early snack - Lean shake (different recipe from my breakfast shake)
Lunch - this would be the heaviest meal of the day
Afternoon/ Early Evening snack - something lite like popcorn or granola
Dinner - Lean shake

The goal is to follow this, along with a more intense cross training workout over the next 2 weeks and see if I tone more and maybe lose a pound or two.

Now I am not going to sit here and act like I might not swipe a slice of chocolate cake or apple pie or ice cream, BUT my biggest weakness is actually chips (and don't throw in vegetable dip or I'm a straight up goner!).  I'm the kind of person who makes a cake and gives away 75% of it because I will have a slice and then let it sit there until it molds.  Ice cream gets old in my freezer. Candy can go untouched for months - even a year, until I clean in out before my son preps for a trick or treating excursion.  I'm also not a soda drinker, although I did buy some a couple of weeks ago because I felt like it.  I'm more apt to drink flavored seltzer water, or just straight up water.  I don't even drink iced tea when I make it, but I will drink up some lemonade.  Same thing with heavy meats like ribs - which I make maybe 2 - 3 times a year (one being Thanksgiving). I get my craving, appease it, and then I'm good for like 6 months.  People think I am the most boring eater when I go out to restaurants, but that God for chicken or else I probably would be 10 pounds lighter, but I have long since digressed. The point was, chips has the potential to get me, but new rule for the apt - no chips during the work week!

I share that soliloquy of background info to say that I'm not up at 1 in the morning binging and snacking on anything I can get my hands on, and yet there has been no movement - at least in the direction that I would like - as far as my weight is concerned.  And I hate that I am not thinking about weight, but it is what it is.  I'm getting older.  The body is changing.  My health is not ideal (per conditions and deficiencies that I simply inherited).  I have to try even harder to avoid diabetes especially (and if I have to go full vegan to avoid that, damn right I will.  Somehow I'll make barbecue sauce on a celery stick work!).

Another thing that I did at my local GNC is purchase a weekly pill case for all of the medications and vitamins & supplements that I need to sustain good health.  In addition to my prescribed meds, I am also taking ferrous sulfate (iron), a hair, skin & nails supplement, multivitamin, CoQ10, colace (to balance all of the iron that I take now), and last but not least, my Omega 369 pill - all of this for a total of 9 pills daily (I should be taking a few more things, but those are just gonna have to wait. 9 pills. 9!).

This is day 2.  How do I feel?  Not so bad.  I'll feel even better after I shower and wash my afro after the workout I just had (btw, love my balance ball - talk about multi-tasking with the workout!), but the one thing that I will do is "just do it" (I know that reads weird, but flow with me on this).  I'm going to follow the plan, and not take any measurements or weight until 2 weeks from today. I am hoping for the best.  I am hoping that I stop being my own energy and do the damn thing.  I'm hoping to see change (I know I'll see it, but I'm feeling a little vain and I want to see the damn change).  I hope this works and puts me on the right track to an effective and doable lifestyle change, because I need it, bad.


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