Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Single Friend

I'm at an age - in my mid 30s - where I find myself surrounded by friends, co-workers, family who are all either involved in long term relationships, including marriage, and I wonder when did life continue to be high school for me even as I got older.

I once attempted to take part in what I thought was a mature discussion on a blog about relationships and how bad girls and bad boys always have someone while the nice girl/guy was home alone.  One poster felt the need to state that I couldn't have been all that lonely since I have a child.  I ended the convo right there because unlike some people I know the difference between getting knocked up versus being loved... but that's a whole other discussion for another day.

Anyway, and I hate to do this or even admit that I am - but it just popped in my head. I wonder, when is my time going to come?  I'm not completely unattractive - physically and emotionally - so what's the deal.  There has to be something wrong with a woman who hasn't been in a semi-loving relationship in over a decade.  And why am I not in love with those who show even a little bit of interest in me (old, nasty men way beyond their prime don't count).   I keep telling myself several things like:
  • it's not over for you 
  • you are a cool person 
  • you look nice
  • you will find someone who moves you 
And then I end right back at "just get over it" and knit more. 

And don't get me wrong - I love that my son loves me, but I'm feeling a little greedy.  I don't know a lot of things, but one thing I think I know for sure is that you can miss what you never had. 

I hope one day this post will be words that I end up eating because I would like to be wrong about living a life while never being the object of a man's love.  Anyway... whatever... random post... I'll get over it.

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