Ok, I will admit straight up - whenever there is a new season, a new year, a new whatever... I declare that I'm going to reboot my life with terms like 'get my sexy back' 'get my grown-woman on' - stuff like that. Well, I have barely tried, and totally failed, each and every time. A lot of reason behind my failures is because, no matter what, I just don't see myself as a sexy woman. I see myself as this chick, on the grind, tired, working 100% but getting 35%, used to being unfulfilled, but still on the grind because it's what I do.
If there is a choice between doing my nails, or doing some laundry - laundry getting done. Styling hair, cooking a good dinner - I'm gonna cook a good dinner for my son. Between getting pampered by professionals or saving (or using) the money for something else that might come up - I'm saving the money for what might come up. I am stuck in a circle of 'everybody else but me,' but trust, I am trying my to change my ways.
There have been little successes. I have invested more time toward my health. I take a boat load of medications and supplements - many which I already had on hand - every day. I think I feel a difference. I also met with several doctors on different problems I'd been dealing and am in the process of trying to make things better. And just recently I have entered the world of 'calorie counting' (shout out to MyFitnessPal), in with the hopes of controlling the results of my changing metabolism. So, I'm working on it. But I do know that at the end of the day, if I'm not happy in my heart, all of these changes made will be for nothing. I figure, the fact that I haven't given up means I've already won.
