My Favorite Recipes: Buttercream Souffle

I have been mixing concoctions for hair and beauty products for a very long time, and with this new 'natural hair movement' it's nice to be able to share with others some of the things that have worked for me over the years.  Whenever someone would mention some sort of ailment or something or another, I was good for saying "you need to go to the health food store, or a fruit stand and buy A, B and C, mix in, boil it, stew it, whatever, and rub it on your elbow and in 2 days it'll be better" lol.  So, here we go (as I recall more things, I will add them)

This recipe is my version of hair buttercream.  I used to purchase Miss Jessie's products, but it was just too expensive to maintain, so I researched ingredients and over the years finally came up with a recipe that has worked wonders for my son's hair as well as my own.  My son has a lot of hair but a couple of years ago it looked like his fro would not grow past 3 inches.  I found this weird considering my hair was always thick and had some length.  With my son's biracial heritage, I also had a hell of a time figuring out which products would work best for his curly dome (I was so grateful that his hair is closer to my texture that his father's because I wouldn't have known what the hell to do with fine wavy hair, lol!).  So after years and many dollars spent searching for the right products, and a lot of trial and error, I made the perfect moisturizing and hair growth cream for him and eventually myself, so I present to you, Elijah's Hair Buttercream:

1 1/4 - 2 cups raw Shea butter (depending on the type of consistency you prefer)
3 tbsp Aloe Vera juice or gel
4 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
5 tbsp Castor oil (some folks prefer vegetable glycerin, but that stuff dries out my hair!)
1/6 cup or 3 tbsp sweet almond oil
1/6 cup or 3 tbsp jojoba oil
1/6 cup or 3 tbsp coconut oil
2 tbsp melted cocoa butter
20 drops tea tree essential oil
20 drops rosemary essential oil
2 tbsp honey

Mix ingredients with an electronic hand mixer and there you go.  This recipe makes about 20 oz. of buttercream which I usually split and store in old hair conditioner containers.  The recipe was originally used simply as a hair moisturizer, but I soon began applying it lightly to my son's scalp when he decided he wanted to grow his hair out, and within a month he had an additional 2 inches of hair growth.  I also used this buttercream on my scalp after I big chopped in the beginning of May and have since regrown the 5 inches of hair that I cut off 6 months ago.

With the winter here, and the super dry air, I am trying to think of ways to improve on the recipe.  When I do I'll keep the cyber world out there posted.

Taking Flight

Life is pretty decent.  Hey, I'm actually alive, which is one of the bigger blessings of all, but I have to take a moment to kick myself for not living to my highest potential.  Interestingly, I got on my son's case for not doing that very thing, and within 2 weeks he has already upped his game, so imagine how painful my own little epiphany was when I realized that I, in fact, have not been doing the very thing that I preach as a parent.

I am stuck in a rut career-wise.  There is some truth to the fact that, in my attempt to change careers, it has been very difficult.  Some employers simply don't understand that I person really can want change and I personally got tired of trying to get them to understand that what I had been doing all of these years simply is not working for me.  And then I see people near and far from me who have gone out there are at least attempted at their dreams, and although I still dream in my mind, I don't think I have put much of anything into practice and have existed in the world of "getting by."  Well, "getting by" ain't cutting it anymore.  For the first time in my life I feel good about myself as a person - except for this one thing, so this is my lecture to myself to get up off my ass and do the damn thing because right about now I feel like I am all talk when it comes to the goals I set for myself so many years ago.

I know that there are challenges in my situation - a single parent, living check to check, no real physical support as well as this condition that I have to take care of everything (because I've been conditioned to ever since I was a kid).  Then there are the health problems - which I think I am finally managing quite well.  But this work situation is not cutting it for me at all.  I am not fulfilled in any way shape or form, and while it would be easy to point the finger at those who sign my time sheet every week, it is all my fault.  Actually, let me use a different word or words: this is all my doing (or lack of doing).  Somewhere along the line I must have started to believe subconsciously that I am only worth just "getting by" and that simply is not true.  I have so many talents that I do not exploit.  Granted, I think I do have talents that serve me well in my current situation, I feel as though I am past the point in my growth as a human being where those talents are impressive anymore, specifically to myself.  I have high expectations or myself, but this is not the case right now.  Right now I simply have expectations that I am not actively meeting.  I try, but I can try harder.  I can try smarter.  I can be more innovative, because for the most part, what's happening now is not working anymore.  This way of life for me has expired and it basically time to buy some new milk.

This plateau that I find myself on was supposed to be a layover in a bigger journey, and yet I find myself still hanging at the terminal, sleeping in an uncomfortable seat with my bags still packed in a bag on wheels on a path that is supposed to lead somewhere, but I'm simply not moving.  Well, it's time to move, so I'm oiling my joints and the creaky wheels of my bags because I'm ready to take flight.  Question is, which terminal shall I head to?  Stay tuned.

Advertures in Fitness-Land: 1

I purchased 5 pound ankle/wrist weights today - yay!

I've always like physical fitness.  My fitness history include my running days as a child, my dancer days in high school, followed by dabbling in a slew of fitness options: weight training, belly dancing, kick boxing, circuit training, yoga, pilates, strength training with exercise bands, balance ball, stepper, swimming, cycling, basically 'you name it.'  Let me put it this way - I have a stand alone heavy bag in my living room and both boxing and heavy bag gloves... I don't play!

I never really worked out to lose weight until an attempt last year.  I'm 5'4", 154lbs (I was 150 in high school) and fluctuated between wearing a size 8 - 11 over the years.  Thing is people actually think I'm skinny, lol!  Well, I'm not, but I'm not obese either.  I fall in the Beyonce, Ashanti body-type range (and Ashanti, if you ever want to give away most if not all of your clothes, I'm right here sister, right here!).  I have a body.  The boobs aren't spilling out over my turtle necks or anything like that, but I look like a woman, and I love that.  But I am getting older, and my metabolism will start to slow down, especially as my son gets older and starts doing even more for himself, so I figure I need to get my body on a path that will indicate how I live the rest of my life, however long that will be.

Last year I purchased the Wii and the Wii Fit software, including the balance board.  I worked out 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours daily from November to April, and I lost 2 friggin pounds.  That, my friends, pissed me off.  Even though I did feel stronger, I didn't lose any weight.  As I mentioned earlier, I never really tried to lose weight, with the exception of the time period after I gave birth (and even then, the first 20 pounds disappeared in 2 days, and those last 10 pounds seem to take forever to melt away).  Now I want to try something different, especially since the weight on me is acting differently.  Now I have a little something going on in the ab area that doesn't include the idea of hand washing clothes there.  And there is a little bit of a jiggle thing going on at various points on my body. So even though I still wear my clothes well, I know what is behind the curtain and, ummm, hell no!

So, I purchased some 5 lb ankle weights to add some more resistance when I workout on my mini stepper.  My apartment isn't large, especially large enough to have a separate work out room, but it's like I need workout gear around me.  Here's a list of the workout  equipment I own (that I remember):

• hand weights (2lb, 5lbs and 10lbs)
• mini-stepper
• exercise bands (various resistances - I LOVE these things)
• balance ball
• ankle weights
• heavy bag with the appropriate boxing and heavy bad gloves
• Pilates stretching band thingy (I don't remember the exact name)
• Yoga mat, blocks and band
• Jump rope (another great workout)
• about 20 workout DVDs including a boxing workout with weighted gloves
• Will Fit plus w/Balance board, as well as Gold's Cardio Gym workout
• Upcoming: the Zumba workout for Wii (that should be coming in the mail this week)

And the interesting thing about this ridiculous list is I use it all!   I love it, but I'm not manic - I don't look like some thick-neck-vein covered, steroid using health nut.  Plus I'm a Gemini, I get bored easily so I need variety, but now I'm going to take things a step further.  I'm going to attempt (this is my safe word, just in case I end up not doing this), to count calories burned - I am not disciplined enough to count the calories I ingest.  Actually, it's not that I can't do that, I just don't want to!  It takes the fun out of eating!  Eating is supposed to be fun, not homework, so I choose to count calories burned, especially since I already exclude so many things from my diet anyway.

So, right now I am creating a profile on the SparkPeople website (check it out here)
I am just completing my profile, and at this time there are groups being recommended to me as a result of the goals I checked off in the process.  I have chosen to enter the following groups:

• 30-somethings with 10-24 pounds to lose (my goal is 20 - I don't know about this, but we shall see)
• New York Team
• Parents of school-ages children (6-11 years old)
• Women of Color Unite

I can also start my own team, but I am in no way an expert so I will hold off on that.  Only if I see some long lasting results will I go that route because I am a big 'work in progress.'  Right now, I'm off to do 30 minutes of cardio/strength (mini-stepper w/10lb ankle weights and intermittent bicep curls with exercise band).  Anchor's away!

EDITED LATER: I did about 45 minutes on the stepper with the 10lb ankle weights, and I feel good but I need a freaking shiatsu massage!  I'm not breathing like I'm a second away from an asthma attack, which is good, but I am sweating like a runaway slave (I never sweat in high school after 3 hours of daily dance practice, so this sweat thing on me is a bit unnerving).  The competitive part of me wants to continue with a boxing workout (I feel like hitting something), but I'm going to stretch a bit and then stop because I never know if I'll end up having to roll out of bed tomorrow morning as opposed to just sitting up like a normal human being.  I feel some ache in the lower back, but overall I feel good.

On the road to Ab-ville

I'm gonna do it.  I'm going to attempt to achieve an ab or two.

Really, the goal is to tone overall, but since it's known that any extra fat around the waist increases one's chances of having heart disease (and since I'm 10 years away from the heart attack that a doctor predicted for me because of my low red and white blood counts) I think it's past due to get a move one.  Granted, I am in relative good shape (I do 10-15 minute strength and cardio before work, and I've started spending some time on my mini stepper - that reminds me, I have to create a workout playlist on my iPod), I also need to add a spiritual/ meditative aspect to this new goal of mine.  And the end result that I hope to achieve is the absence of jiggle.  Granted (there's that word again... I know), I have a pretty nice shape a.k.a. I look like a freaking woman and not a prepubescent boy, I want to build my strength and tone these curves.  Hopefully incorporating meditation into the mix will not only enhance my physical strength, but my emotional stability as well, lol! 

Anyway, once I figure out a true strategy I'll share it.  Or maybe I'll just try different things and give my review of said workouts and relaxation methods.  Either way,  it's on, so bring it! (p.s. I'm a little scared, lol!)

Family is all Relative

My son and I just spent the Thanksgiving holiday with the family of a friend of mine who I know from work, and the past few days just confirms what I've always believed, which is family is all relative.

To be welcomed into a family of people whom you've never met, and even better for me, to see my son embraced so lovingly (especially since he was a bit nervous beforehand) is something that any person would want and cherish should they be blessed to have such an experience.  I have not necessarily given up on one day having the big family dinner with my own blood relatives, but I live in the hear and now and I am not going to waste my time holding my breath, or tricking myself into believing that I can break bread with a 10 ton pound gorilla in the room.  And since I also have no desire to wallow in any type of self pity with regard to our 'family' situation, I will continue to go toward a place where love is being offered and where I can return it as well.  Family is not supposed to keep score.  Family is not supposed to vilify.  Family is not supposed to take sides.  Family is not supposed to ostracize as if we were in a high school cafeteria trying to figure out which table to sit at.  Family does not always have to agree, but family is supposed to be about respect - in both directions.  Non of this do as I say not as I do - grown ups should be held just as accountable for their actions as we do the children.  Family is the one place where one should be within a hair's reach of "fair."'m still supposed to be one of the kids.  Sure, with a bit more life experience, and maybe I should be setting some life examples for the others to be inspired by and maybe even follow to some degree, but I am still one of the kids.  I get tired of having to remind people of this  Anyway, going off on a tangent, sitting under the hair dryer will 500 rollers in my hair, the heat is burning my neck a little and this blog entry has no real structure, but at the end of the day, it's all in the title.  You can't choose your family, but actually you can :)